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    2008.
    Bitched on: Wednesday, December 31, 2008
    Time: 12/31/2008 03:39:00 PM

    I have been looking forward to doing this entry for one whole year cause I was having so much fun doing it last year. And now the time has come. My People of 2008.

    Like any other lists, there are bound to be people who almost made it but didn't. So here are those who are bubbling under.

    Lindsay Lohan. She replaces Britney this year in the chart (well, almost). Blonde but originally red-haired, beautiful, rich and not without her strings of controversies, she is the only bitch on this list we all love to hate. This year she added another jotting to her 'resume': LESBIAN. Her relationship with DJ Samantha Ronson certainly got tongues (and another part of the anatomy I can't mention here) wagging. As quoted from her interview: Bisexual? "Maybe." Lesbian? "No."

    Hmm... Confused? Definitely...

    Another blonde on the 'out' list, and possibly another lesbian with all that kissing other girls on stage, is the much older and much less desirable Madonna. Please Maddy, Lindsay=lesbian=hot but Madonna=lesbian=eyesore. She recently fell on stage (after kissing a female back-up dancer... what's new?). She just got divorced from her husband Guy Ritchie and was reportedly having an affair with Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez (who also broke off from his wife around the same time...). She is obsessed with some cult religion. She is dieting and exercising so much she looks like what you hang up on the door during Halloween. She is what Hollywood is all about. But can someone please tell her that anorexia with wrinkly skin was and will never be 'in'?

    Next (not on the list) is Jennifer Aniston. She has gotten almost everyone's sympathy votes when her hubby was snatched away from her in 2005. She garnered more support when that very home wrecker commented she fell in love with her ex while they were on the set of Mr & Mrs Smith.
    "Not a lot of people get to see a movie where their parents fell in love."
    Jennifer's 'cool' reply to Angelina Jolie?:
    "There was stuff printed there that was definitely from a time when I was unaware that it was happening. I felt those details were a little inappropriate to discuss. That stuff about how she couldn't wait to get to work every day? That was really uncool."

    Brad Pitt then later came out to say he too fell in love with Angelia during the filming of the movie. Aniston's reply to Brad Pitt? :

    Another Jennifer (who almost made it to the list) is Jennifer Hudson. The third season of American Idol alumni has to be one of THE most successful idol to have been churned out from the franchise and this was even though she didn't win the competition. The singing (and acting) sensation has won numerous awards for her role in the 2005 movie, Dreamgirl, and was nominated for 4 Grammy awards. Things seemed to be perfect for this talented diva until October 24, 2008, when Hudson's 57-year-old mother, Darnell Donerson, and her 29-year-old brother, Jason, were shot to death inside Donerson's home, in Chicago, Illinois. Her 7-year-old nephew, Julian King, was later found dead after being reported missing for 3 days.

    At home, this man shocked the entire nation of Singapore when he jumped into the white tigers' enclosure in the Singapore Zoo on 13th November. Mr Nordin Bin Montong, a contract cleaner from Sarawak, was fatally mauled by the three resident white tigers in front of many shocked onlookers. Two videos surfaced, capturing every second of the man's death, from him wading 'willingly' to where the tigers were and to his final moments when one of the tigers was pulling his limp body into the bushes with its jaws. And not to mention disturbing pictures of the huge tigers looming over the cowering man were splashed on every local newspaper for days.

    Last but not least is Sufiah Yusof. She is a former mathematics prodigy from Britain (born of Pakistani and Malaysian descent) who at the age of 13 back in 1997, gained entry into St. Hilda's College, Oxford University. However in March 2008, a reporter working undercover for the News of the World found her advertising as a high profile escort under the name Shilpa Lee, quoting a rate of £130 an hour. She had reportedly been under extreme pressures from her parents since young to perform academically, this is definitely a way of expressing her rebellion. What a shame.

    And now lets see who has made it to my list for 2008.

    10.
    Just making it on the list is Thomas Beatie. Just who is that? He is the pregnant man that the whole world almost thought was a myth (well actually, he was born Tracy Lagondino, a 'woman'). Technically Thomas, 34, didn't have male organs to begin with; he had kept his female reproductive organs to one day have children with his wife, Nancy (who is also his body-building partner). Thomas had to stay off testosterone two years beforehand for this pregnancy (and according to his interview on Oprah, the testosterone actually transformed his clitoris into a small penis!). He gave birth to a girl on June 29. Beatie is reportedly pregnant again.

    9.
    Number 9 is Yip Pin Xiu, the 16-year old with muscular dystrophy, who has made sure that Singapore took notice about the Paralympics as much as the Olympics. Yip not only won the gold medal in the 50m backstroke and the silver in the 50m freestyle in Beijing 2008 Paralympic, she broke world record for the former (during the heats).
    Not every success story is without its controversy, there was public outcry when it was found out she was only presented with $100,000 from the governtment and that the women's table tennis team, which got second place in the Beijing 2008 Olympics, received much more - $400,000. Where is the fairness? Or the equality? Apparently to Singapore it only applies to religion and race...

    8.
    At number 8, all hail THE man, Edison Chen. He has bedded almost every single starlet that is 'bed-able' in Hong Kong (14 stars... but who's counting?) which included actresses Gillian Chung, Bobo Chan and Cecilia Cheung. And he has over 1,300 pictures to prove it! Of course he didn't intentionally leak the pictures out; they were most probably leaked out when Chen's "Cotton-candy Mac" computer was sent in for repairs and that the pictures may have been accessed and secretly copied by one or more of the shop's employees. But man... all I can say is "Wow!" Of course I have seen them, who haven't? He promised to leave the Hong Kong acting industry indefinitely but he did appear in Batman Returns this year in a minor role as a security guard (after being dropped from the larger role as the corrupt banker from Hong Kong)... And... yeah... the videos and pictures... yeah... wow...

    7.

    Lucky number 7 goes to unlucky lady Sarah Palin. Lets face it, one of the many (and most obvious) reasons for the Republican John McCain's defeat is her. No one has faith in that Alaskan governor. She is one heart attack away (and that's John McCain's) from becoming the President of the United States (John McCain could have made history too, for being the oldest president to ever be elected at 72). No one wants Sarah Palin to hold that responsibility; I mean she is no Hilary Clinton. She has a tonne of controversies surrounding her; from the conservative Republican candidate's pregnant teenage daughter to ethical questions over her firing of the Alaska public safety commissioner (and other top law officials who were supposedly not loyal to her) to her bumbling interview with Katie Couric to name a few. And not forgetting Tina Fey's impersonation of her as the dumb ex-pageant queen. Simply hilarious and spot-on.

    6.
    Number 6 on the list is the most-wanted man in Singapore, Mas Selamat. Since his escape from the nation's Internal Security Department's detention cen
    tre at Whitely Road on 27th February, the Singaporean government has launched the largest manhunt in the country's history. Why so much hoo-hah? The man is said to be the head of the Singapore branch of militant group Jemaah Islamiah (JI). And it was alleged that he had planned to crash seven bomb-filled trucks at various locations around Singapore. Finally he was suspected of plotting to bomb Singapore Changi Airport in 2002 by crashing a plane into it. How could he have escaped so easily if he was such a dangerous man? Try an open toilet air vent window. And oh yeah, the f*cked up security. It has been 10 months since the fugitive's escape and we still have no news of him. Has he fled the country? Probably. But maybe someday someone will find his decomposing body floating down the canal. Maybe...

    5.
    Next on the list is Heath Ledger. The promising and talented actor passed away early this year on the 22nd January. He has acted in movies like '10 things I hate
    about you', 'The Patriot' and 'Monster's Ball'. Of course he was one half of the gay duo on 'Brokeback Mountain'. The Australian-born actor's final role as the Joker on 'The Dark Knight' sent shivers down my spine. A pity he never got to see the film, nor would he be in person to collect any of the awards he was nominated for (movie critics are raving about his performance!). On the day of his death, he was found unconscious in his fourth-floor loft apartment at 421 Broome Street in the SoHo neighborhood in Manhattan. Coroner's report showed he died of acute intoxication of a cocktail of drugs. The next joker has huge shoes to fill (OMG, pun totally unintended).

    4.
    Lo Hwei Yen, 28 year-old-lawyer, wife, daughter and Singapore's first victim in a terrorist attack. Her passing united the nation in mourning. She was one of the 164 killed during a series of terrorist attacks in Mumbai from 26-29 November. She had been in the Indian city to attend a business seminar, when terrorists attacked the Oberoi Hotel where she was staying in and took her hostage. She was shot twice during the 60-hour siege and subsequent rescue operation.
    While she might have led an ordinary life, her tragic and senseless death shook the nation. While Singapore is generally safe and have been blessed so far to not have this misfortune on our shores, her death is sort of a reminder to us that not everyone can be safe, not in Singapore and certainly not overseas. Terrorism came too close to us Singaporeans in a way, not physically but certainly emotionally and psychologically. She may not have been a martyr, 'giving' her life to terrorism (like what certain people have made her to be), she was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. And I am sure she should be remembered more than just as Singapore's first terror victim, she was also a great wife, daughter and friend to many.


    But before we go into the top 3, lemme digress to go quickly through the top 10 events that happened in 2008.

    10. November 25th marked the start of an over week long protest in Thailand. Protesters from the People's Alliance for Democracy party stormed into Suvarnabhumi Airport and blocked flights from taking off. More protesters seize control of Don Mueang Airport the following day.
    9. Melamine-tainted milk (and milk products) caused 11 infant deaths in China and nearly 300,000 children sickened in China alone. Many China-made food products have since been removed from shelves in supermarkets worldwide.
    8.
    Singapore Flyer opened on the 11th February. But on 23 December 2008, the wheel stopped moving and trapped 173 passengers for about six hours. The breakdown was caused by a short circuit and fire in the Flyer's wheel control room, which cut off the air-conditioning in the wheel. Eleven passengers were evacuated via a sling-like device from a few of the capsules, and those stranded were given food and drink. The wheel restarted nearly seven hours after it stopped and two people had to be hospitalised. The Flyer has been shut down indefinitely.
    7. Beijing hosted the 2008 Summer Olympics starting from August 8
    to August 24. A total of 10,500 athletes competed in 302 events in 28 sports.

    6. Singapore hosted the first-ever night race for the F1 Grand Prix on 29th September with World Champion Fernando Alonso coming out tops after a drama-filled race.5. November 26th-29th - A series of terrorist attacks in Mumbai, India, killed 164 (including one Singaporean), and injures at least 250.

    Tied in 5th place is the senseless retaliation by the Israel forces on Gaza Strip. The air strikes on 27th December has killed 360 Palestinians and 1,600 injured. STOP this senseless killing!
    4.
    56th U.S. Presidential elections. The most historical and definitely memorable presidential election in history. Obama won the presidency over McCain with 53% of the popular vote and a wide electoral college margin on the historic 4th November.
    3. The nineteenth deadliest earthquake of all time, the 2008 Sichuan earthquake which measured at 8.0 on the scales occurred on May 12 in Sichuan province of China, killed at least 69,000.

    2. Cyclone Nargis made landfall in the country of Myanmar (previously known as Burma) on May 2nd causing catastrophic destruction and at least 146,000 fatalities with thousands more people still missing.
    1. The economic recession of 2008. It became prominently visible in September 2008 with the failure, merger or conservatorship of several large United
    States-based financial firms. It rapidly evolved into a global crisis resulting in a number of European bank failures and declines in various stock indexes, and large reductions in the market value of equities and commodities worldwide.... blah blah blah... I just copied and paste all that chunk, all I know is that the world's economy is in recession. And that is bad.


    Now back to the top 3 People of 2008.

    3.
    In third place is Michael Phelps (which ironically I think he
    was never in third place in his entire life!). The swimming sensation from the United States is MY AGE (gasp!), and that is all for the similarities... He has won 14 career Olympic Gold medals (and me, zero), the most by any Olympian. As of 2008, he also holds seven swimming world records (again, me zero). And at this Beijing Olympics, Phelps made history for winning the most gold medals in a single Olympic Game. With this record of 8, he surpassed American Mark Spitz, who was also a swimmer and had held the previous gold medal total with the seven that he won at the 1972 Munich Olympic Games. And me again... zero...which makes me a 23-year-old loser.

    2.
    I dunno who or what the Lehman Brothers are but they seemed to have started the earth-shattering economic recession. Lehman Brothers Holding Inc. was a global financial-services firm that did business in investment banking, equity and fixed-income sales, research and trading, investment management, private equity, and private banking (don't ask me what's what, I copied and pasted). On September 15, the firm filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection; the largest bankruptcy in U.S. history. Immediately following the bankruptcy filing, an already unstable market began an uncontrollable tailspin. What resulted was what many have called the “Perfect Storm” of economic distress factors, from Wall Street layoffs to a spike in durvexity, and eventually led a $700B bailout package.

    1.
    The number one spot goes to.... *drumrolls*...
    Barrack Hussein Obama II. He is THE MAN of 2008. He will be the first African-American President of the United States of America come 20th January next year. And the 44th President of the U.S.A. I am somewhat pleasantly surprised by the Americans. Surprised because they have not only accepted but embraced change (and such a drastic one at that). Speaking as an outsider, Barrack Obama has the face and the determination to right any wrong and mess that his predecessor has created. He is the best man for the job.

    "This is our chance to answer that call. This is our moment. This is our time – to put our people back to work and open doors of opportunity for our kids; to restore prosperity and promote the cause of peace; to reclaim the American Dream and reaffirm that fundamental truth – that out of many, we are one; that while we breathe, we hope, and where we are met with cynicism, and doubt, and those who tell us that we can’t, we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people:

    Yes we can."
    So that's it for my list of the People of 2008.
    But the one who is truly number one on my list?

    My niece. :)
    Bless her heart.

    Thank you 2008. It has been a blast.


    1 comments

    3 years wiser: The silver lining.
    Bitched on: Saturday, December 27, 2008
    Time: 12/27/2008 12:00:00 AM

    I have this bench which I love to sit after I go to the gym. Its at this park beside my neighbourhood and the park surrounds a canal.

    Nothing fancy about that canal the bench faces. The water is gross and murky-green. Smells unpleasant on certain days (Note: I said 'canal'. Singapore has no river... just concrete-laid canals; even the Singapore 'River' cannot pass off as a river... its more like a stream... a concrete-laid stream that is).

    But back to that park. Nothing special about the park too; there is the playground with noisy kids and equally noisy maids looking after them, or the occasional joggers (detached from the world by their iPods) running past and retirees taking their excruciatingly slow stroll.

    I just love to sit on that bench. And not to observe these people, oh no no, neither do I sit to admire the heavily-polluted canal, I sit down there just to imagine.

    They say most people have somehow lost their imagination by the time they become adults. Even the word 'imagining' itself I feel has been replaced with a very condescending substitute: 'daydreaming'. Call it whatever you want but I sit on that green heavily-vandalised bench to imagine I am in the most beautiful of beautiful places, breathing the freshest air and admiring in awe the most spectacular sights.

    I try to imagine that I am once again surrounded by snowy Alaskan peaks or that I am on top of one of those peaks feeling the cool fresh breeze. I try to imagine that the horrendous canal is the bluest lake I have ever seen in Canada or one of the beautiful beaches along the Great Ocean Road.

    I try to recall, I try to imagine. And I try to see them once again, even if its all in my head.

    Many things I have seen this passing year and some of these I swear are unbelievably gorgeous and unforgettable. Which is why I sometimes use that time on the bench to imagine these great sights once again... Its a pity if all you have are just photographs of these places and not the memories of how they look, smell or feel real to you.

    Speaking of smells, I will never forget the smell of my primary school. Its not actually the physical smell of the school per se, its just a combination of everything: the smelly kids, the canteen food, the fresh textbooks, the smell of correction fluid and smudged ink, the freshly cut grass on the field...

    And all it takes is one sniff of that 'smell', to bring back all the memories in an instant. It transports me back to a time when I couldn't even tie my own shoelaces. It feels so real, so wonderful that memory. And if one takes time to sit down to imagine, to think and reflect, the memories come to you. These good, beautiful memories.

    I have been blessed to have so many of the beautiful memories cramped into this single year. But never once did I not think about my family. I missed my family the whole entire time and I feel sorry that they missed out on all these. I stop to wish that it would not take 23 years before my beautiful niece see a single snow flake. That it would not be too 'old' for her to make her first snow angel or catch a snow flake with her tongue.

    Speaking of my niece...

    What a perfect gift God has graced me with this year.

    Have you ever loved someone so much you cry tears of happiness just looking at her beautiful face? Have you ever loved someone so much that when you kiss her, you never want to let go? Have you ever loved someone so much, it doesn't matter if she loves you back as much?

    I have never loved someone as much as I love my niece. And I never imagined in a million years that this year would be the year I have someone I truly truly love.

    Thank you God for her.

    And thank you God for the people I have met and befriended the past year. For the people I have come to love and miss so much. The memories I have are not just of the places but of these people. The people who have made those places more beautiful and memorable than they already are.

    The people who have welcomed me into their lives. And shared a part of them with me. I am truly happy to have met every single one of them.

    Every single one of them.

    :)

    So back to that bench which I frequently sit on. I would look up to the sky too as I 'daydream'. Cos the sky is the only thing consistent in all the memories of these places. The vast sky is everywhere, no? Plus looking at the sky always reminds me how small I am, or how big the world is. I know that kinda sounds cliche but its true.

    Somewhere in another part of the world, someone else is looking at that same cloud or that same shinning star. Another person on another side of the globe is admiring that same moon or feeling the warmth of that same sun. And all these at the same time contradictorily makes you think how small the world is.

    No matter how far you are away from that person, separated from the huge vast oceans or continents, the sky is the one thing that connects us. I have to admit that I always sleep with my windows open and I position my bed under that window so that sometimes, when I'm missing someone or someplace, I would look up to the sky and know that I still have something in common with the people I have left behind.

    Its nothing to be ashamed of to be thinking of these sappy 'theories' and neither is it embarrassing to cry buckets when you miss someone. Its how we cope with this. And this year I have cried as much as I have laughed (well almost). Cried when my niece was born, I cried when I left my family to go the States, I cried when I left my 'family' in the States to come back home. I cried for so many reasons.

    But I am not going to cry over how bad my grades are, oh no no. What is there to cry about? There are a million things in life worth crying for. Moreover, I have seen so many beautiful things, met so many wonderful people, to have this one speck of failure to ruin this perfect year.

    Or worst, I could start blaming people and myself for this misfortune. I could blame the f*cked up education system, how there is a lack of creativity pulsating in the school's curriculum and that I am one of the uninspired students under uninspiring tutors.

    But have you ever stopped to think that you yourself is in the system? How you yourself is contributing to the f*cked up-ness of the system with your self-pitying f*ck-care attitude? I'm not talking about the education system per se, I'm talking about in general, in life. How sometimes you think, oh boo hoo, poor me, when all you do is nothing?

    Stop, smell the rose and move on.

    That is why I need that time on the bench to escape.
    To sit down and run away.

    To be alone with no one else.
    But the shadow to accompany me. Yes, I said my shadow. The forgotten companion who is always behind you rain or shine (or in front, depending on the light's direction... or when it gets completely dark and you can barely make out your hand in front of you.. but that's a different story).

    Lemme ask you this question, when was the last time you looked at your shadow?

    For years I have not thought about it until I was left stranded alone at some airport. The sun was perfectly angled and I happened to look down... and I broke into a smile. For the first time in years I noticed my shadow. And believe me when I say this I instantly felt not alone anymore. I felt so foolish that after all these years, noticing my shadow was making me laugh... (Gosh... this entry is making me sound incoherent and probably senile...)

    I know I sound like I'm spewing hogwash, but all these things go through my head when I think, when I'm imagining. And I hope that if you can connect to certain things I have said, you have done my babbling justice.

    So today, there I was on the bench, looking up to the sky. It had just stopped raining and the sun was peering behind some of the dark menacing clouds, that's when I saw it. A relatively small dark cloud with a perfectly glowing outline.

    It was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. But this time time I didn't have to imagine it. It was right there above me. And it would have been a shame if I was the only one to have noticed it, to have admired it. Just imagine, a dark storm cloud with the sun's rays radiating around it. How poetic is that?

    While every other cloud around it might not have a silver lining, I found mine.

    I found my cloud with a silver lining. And I hope that all of you who are going through some difficulties in your life will find yours too.

    Thank you for accompanying me the past three years with this ol' blog of mine.

    PS: If you go down to the park often, maybe you might be accustomed to seeing this lonesome guy sitting on this bench, looking up into the sky, inhaling deeply the stench from the nearby canal while all that time grinning at his shadow.

    That guy is most probably me.

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    Bush is Zohan in real life?
    Bitched on: Monday, December 15, 2008
    Time: 12/15/2008 09:25:00 AM

    Hilarious...

    One of the Iraqi journalists threw not one BUT two shoes at him. And Bush astonishingly duck both times.

    Guess the security guys will only take a bullet for him, not shoes...

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    Hebitch Down Under
    Bitched on: Monday, December 01, 2008
    Time: 12/01/2008 10:16:00 PM

    Hebitch blogging here now.

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