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    still.
    Bitched on: Saturday, September 30, 2006
    Time: 9/30/2006 02:32:00 AM

    Thanks for the overwhelming e-mails of support as well as those words of encouragement on my tagboard...

    But to those who deemed this all too melodramatic and think that I was overreacting, SCREW YOU.

    Just wait till this happens to you.
    Lets see you try not to lose your composure or nerves.
    Or that you won't be left shaking in your knees.

    I know it has been a few days but I still keep having horrific flashbacks everytime I hear a bike.

    This, along with other things like the sight of a handphone or (get this) a 'mat'!

    I can't help it but these seemingly insignificant things will just trigger all the bad memories.

    And it was worst just after that incident, back at my hotel room. I had asked my friend to throw an empty can of soft drink away for me.
    So I extended my hand with the can to him. And when he was about to take it away, all those feelings kept rushing into me.
    Like it was deja vu minus everything else...
    I was so shaken I almost dropped the can.

    And its hard to completely erase all these irrational fears when the absence of my phone kepts reminding me of it.

    Cause I depend on my phone for almost everything.
    I use it to see the time (I hate wearing watches).
    I use it to take impromptu snapshots of things I find nice (I'm a photographing 'weirdo').
    I use its alarm clock function and calender.
    And I have to use its reminder function very often.
    Heck, I even depend on the phone's calculator.
    Not to mention, I have been uncontactable since the day I came back to Singapore.

    And I'm not intending to get another phone anytime soon though my family members have been bugging me to get one.
    (And I'm also sick of my sisters' constant jibes at me about my 'stupidity' and my crying episode.)

    Just let me wallow in self-pity and leave me alone.
    I just need a time-out from having a phone.
    And I'm still traumatised...

    PS: See here for pictures of my trip to Kuala Lumpur.
    Some of the camera-whoring pictures really made my day (pre-theft, of course).
    Like these street-fighter ones;

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    My Traumatic Holiday
    Bitched on: Wednesday, September 27, 2006
    Time: 9/27/2006 03:31:00 PM

    Two bikers with their pillion riders, rode into the junction of the famed square, U-turned and waited to pounce.

    Friday, 22/09/06, 1850hrs on Daddy's car heading to NUS (National University of Singapore), Singapore.
    Mum: Are you sure you brought everything? Your passport?
    Me: Yes... (changing the subject) Daddy, can you give me your phone's SIM card? That number has auto roaming right? You can call me with that number if anything happens.
    (I fiddled with his phone to remove the SIM card...It was really starting to give me travel sickness; and I was about to give up trying)
    Dad: Why don't you just bring my phone and use it over there?
    Me: The camera in my phone is better. And I need to use it. I might need to take pictures of buildings over there. Oh, finally the card is out.
    Mum: Remember to call back every night.
    (If only I did all those things...)

    2210hrs at my studio. (NUS School of Design (SDE), Architecture faculty)
    A friend: What do you think of this phone? I will buy it once its on offer.
    (he passed me the new ad from Singtel on phone offers)
    Me: Nice. The other one is better, I think. I really need to buy a new phone. Getting harder to press the 9.

    Saturday, 23/09/06, 0710hrs, at NUS.
    From there we headed down to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.

    Monday, 25/09/06, 1810hrs at the Berjaya Times Square Shopping Centre's indoor theme park, Kuala Lumpur.
    (while on the roller coaster ride, I kept looking at my pocket, worried my phone might drop out. Now come to think of it, I wouldn't have minded it plunging down during the ride)

    1915hrs still at Berjaya Times Square Shopping Centre about to head down to Pertaling Street (Chinatown).
    (Seperated from some of my friends and frustrated at waiting for them, I sent one of them an SMS)
    Me: he (backspace backspace) he (backspace backspace, presses hard on the '9') where the hell are o (backspace, again pressing the '9' button hard) you guys? (presses '9' hard) We are (again) waiting for u here.

    Note to myself: I should get a new phone.

    2030hrs at Pertaling Street.
    I clutched my sling back in front of me as I jostled with the crowd at the extremely packed night bazaar, checking my pockets once in a while for my wallet and phone.

    2230hrs.
    My friends and I decided that the guys were going to walk back to our hotel because we were broke after the shopping at the street. And the girls can take a cab back.

    2300hrs.
    My guy friends and I decided to pass by Dataran Merdeka to take quick snapshots of the Dataran Merdeka buildings.
    My camera battery had died. Crap.

    2315hrs at Dataran Merdeka (Independance Square).
    My friends and I were happily snapping pictures of the buildings like the Abdul Samad Building etc. with our camera phones by the roadside. We reached a junction at the corner of the square.

    2324hrs
    Friend: I think we should head back.
    Me: Gimme a sec, let me finish off this last row of buildings.

    2325hrs.
    A bike passed by us, from our right, too close for comfort. I grabbed my friend whom I thought would be in the way.
    Unfazed, I brought my camera phone up to snap my last picture of the building which coincidentally I thought was ugly but had to take a picture of it nevertheless.

    2325hrs and 1 second later.
    A second bike rode pass us, again, close to us... close to me...
    and the pillion rider snatched my phone from my hand.
    I stood there shocked.

    See The Aftermath.

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    The Aftermath.
    Time: 9/27/2006 03:25:00 PM

    (See My Traumatic Holiday before proceeding.)

    Having 'lost' a phone on the bus and having someone snatching it away from your very hand are so different.

    God, I felt his hand on my hand. I did...
    All the time after he took my phone, I was thinking I had to wash my hands. To wash away the stink on my hand.

    I felt his filthy stealing hand on my right hand. I felt filthy...

    Furthermore, I saw my phone being snatched away from my hand, right in front of my face.
    I saw him about to drop my phone but managed to catch it at the last minute.

    I saw that he was wearing orange... Orange.

    And I saw him speed of with my phone... just like that.

    Now, I can't close my eyes without my mind replaying all that.
    I can't sleep without 'seeing' it.
    Its like a nightmare.

    Its just a handphone, I know. You can always get a new one.
    My family and friends have been consoling and jokingly telling me that its a good excuse to get a new phone.

    I know...

    Its not just that. He snatched something away from me. Its not just a phone. Its something non-physical. Something emotional. He took away my sense of security.

    I feel so scared now if I'm left alone.
    I had to have my non-Muslim friend accompany me down to the hotel's restaurant for sahur (early morning breakfast for Muslims who are fasting during the day) at 3 o'clock the morning after.
    I was really scared to go down on my own, something I did alone for the last two mornings .

    I have become so paranoid.

    I am starting to look at Malaysians especially Malays differently now.
    I know I shouldn't. But I can't help it.
    I look at them with so much hate.

    Yes.
    I hated every single Malays... Mats. Mat motors...
    How could they do this? To one of them? I hated them all.

    I am sure this is just a passing phase. At least I hope so, otherwise I can't look into a mirror without hating myself.

    I know not all Malaysians are like that.
    There are the kind people just like the taxi driver who comforted me as we headed back to our hotel (post-theft) and the chambermaid who folded my clothes and left them nicely on the table.
    Heck, I have a lot of Malaysian friends.
    And I don't hate you. But its just... fear and disgust.

    Hell, it could have been an Indonesian in the first place. People from my mum to the tour guide to the taxi driver were speculating that it was a foreign worker. I don't care, Indon or Malaysian... someone stole my phone!

    And I am so fearful of bikes now. Sounds silly, I know. But everytime I hear one passing by, my heart skips a beat. My face pales. I am that traumatised...

    You will never know how I feel unless you have been robbed or you were a victim of some other crime.
    Its not just having something stolen from you. Its not only the materialistic thing.
    There is this tremendous sense of lost, hopelessness, fear, disgust and regret.

    Its a feeling that you have been violated...

    I feel so victimised. So cowardly.
    I used to imagine myself kicking the ass of anyone who would harm me or my family.
    I had imagined myself doing some flying kicks and kungfu chops against the perpetrators, some serious ass-kicking.
    But now, all that is gone.

    And I went to KL, thinking I know it like the back of my hand.
    But now, I don't.
    KL is dead to me now.
    I know it sounds dramatic but I will never step into Malaysia ever... Or anywhere out of Singapore for that matter.

    I am a victim of a crime. Something I wouldn't have imagined I would be. I took Singapore's low crime rate for granted. And I thought it would be the same everywhere... (I know Singapore is far from being a safe haven but I haven't had anyone I know gone through anything like that here)

    I know its just a handphone.
    But I would feel just as crappy if he took an old phone or a lollipop for that matter!
    He took something of mine.

    So many things went through my mind when that phone left my hand into his in that split second.
    But yet I was able to think rationally.
    I was thinking clearly enough to think of ways to stop that motherf#cker from getting away.

    I wanted to fling something at him. Anything.
    I wanted to fling my sling bag but my mind was sensible enough to reason that if he caught my bag, there goes my digital camera too.
    I had thought of flinging my plastic bags (of tees I just bought at Pertaling Street earlier) but the bags were twisted around my wrist.

    I had thought of giving chase, but my legs were not responding. I just stood there, hoping the phone would slip out of his hand (which almost did).
    I was hoping he would drop the phone onto the ground. I would rather the phone fall on the hard road, the last wheel running over the phone than him stealing it.

    I was clearheaded enough to try to look at the license plate but my contact lenses were kinda blurry. And it was dark.

    Nasty as this sounds, I had hoped the bike would get knocked down as the bike turned into the mainroad from the bend. A fatal accident... Their just desserts.

    And I hoped beyond hope, that they were fooling around and returned the phone to me.
    I did. Stupid, I know. But I did hope that.
    I had hoped it was a prank.

    I hoped and I hoped. But when the bike rode away, all that evaporated. All my hopes. All my thoughts.
    As cliche as this sounds but my mind went blank.
    I felt empty, hollow... dead.
    I felt lost. Disorientated.

    My legs wobbled, I forgot I was still standing.
    My mouth went dry, I forgot I was still holding my breath.
    And my body temperature shot up, despite the cold night.

    Literally, my heart stopped beating.

    I forgot I was still alive...

    For that moment, I lost my will to live. Really. That was how disorientated I was...
    I had wanted to dash across the road to give 'chase' but I was hoping a car would knock me down instead. I contemplated suicide. I was that hopeless...

    And amongst the hopelessness, I sat down there by the side of the road, waiting for them, hoping they would return my phone to me...
    A small glimmer of hope...
    I hoped it was all a dream...
    I hoped I could rewind all this and do something to prevent all this from happening.

    I should have seen the signs...
    I should have used my dad's phone instead.
    I should have gone back to the hotel with some of my friends instead of going down to Pertaling Street.
    I shouldn't have volunteered to walk but instead take a cab back to the hotel with the girls.
    We shouldn't have gone to Dataran Merdeka late at night.
    I shouldn't have happily take pictures with my phone by the side of the road.
    I should have been more careful, seeing all the mat mat motors lepak-ing (loitering) by the pavement or the side of the road.
    I should have listened to my friend and head back to the hotel.
    I should have seen that the first bike was trying to steal from us.
    I knew I shouldn't have taken that last picture...

    If only I knew all that.

    All that happened so fast.
    From the time I snapped my last picture to the time the bike sped off.
    Gone, just like that.

    He made me feel like shit, a coward, a loser...
    He even rode pass me to mock me.

    Yes, the two bikes rode past us again.
    My friends didn't think so.
    But I know.
    I know.
    I thought I heard one of them shout something in Malay, "Just sitting there?"

    That was painful...

    They must have planned everything. From having two bikes, one a backup, to waiting for us to reach that bend of the road. Come to think of it, I do remember the two bikes riding into the road and U-turned.
    Where they had waited to pounce on us... on me...

    They must have done it before. That wasn't their first time, neither would it be their last.

    I couldn't report it to the police. They can't help. I couldn't get the license plate number.
    What can they do?
    The least I can do is warn all you readers to be careful.
    Be very careful.

    Trust me, having something snatched from your hand is different from losing it because of your carelessness.

    It is so much more painful.

    And all that time after I walked on the same sidewalk back to the mainroad, I didn't shed a tear. Instead, I felt hatred.

    I detested all those bikers loitering at the square.
    I was disgusted by the very sight of them.
    Especially those who were using their phones. All I could think of was that they must have stolen those phones...

    Good-for-nothings. Slackers. Sons-of-bitches. Thieves. Unemployed disgrace to the society. Stupid low class morons. Uncivilised babarians. Losers. Criminals!
    I had even hoped that all the bikers there would get knocked down by a car one of these days.
    I glared at them as we walked along that same road as my friends tried to flag for a cab.

    It was only when I alighted from the cab, did I break down and cry. I cried because I was so touched by the taxi driver's kind and comforting words. Not all Malaysians are like that.

    And he was right.

    I broke down by hotel lobby where we had alighted.
    It was strange cause I have never cried so much in my entire adult life.
    I sobbed like a baby.

    And that was also strange, having laughed so much earlier that day (till I had to throw up) on the rides at the theme park.

    But there I was, crying.
    Angry, hurt, regretful and hopeless...

    And I sobbed some more when I called back home to my family.
    I felt really bad. I felt like a disappointment.
    If only I had called more often. My Mum and sisters would have warned me not go out late at night or flaunt my valuables.

    I blame myself.

    I hate myself more than those who stole my handphone.

    I blame myself for everything...

    But on the other hand, I curse all those sons of bitches.
    May you all die of horrible deaths.

    Remember, what goes around, comes around...

    PS: Thanks, Weiqi and Gilbert. God bless your souls.

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    Gone to Kuala Lumpur
    Bitched on: Friday, September 22, 2006
    Time: 9/22/2006 10:44:00 PM

    Forgive me if I haven't been updating.

    And I won't be anytime soon. I'll be going Kuala Lumpur tomorrow, Saturday.
    Be back Tuesday.

    Kuala Lumpur, AGAIN... sigh...

    Related entries:
    My Boring Holiday
    My Horrible Holiday

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    New Look
    Bitched on: Wednesday, September 20, 2006
    Time: 9/20/2006 12:14:00 AM

    Hey!

    I finally got off my lazy butt to change the design of my blog.

    Its overall format is different too.

    Now, you don't need to click the sidebars to go to the tagboard, archives, etc.
    Its easier to leave messages in the tagboard now. So DO IT.

    And I also have enabled the comments link.
    So do leave your comments!

    Ciao!

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    Singapore Biennale 2006
    Bitched on: Sunday, September 17, 2006
    Time: 9/17/2006 12:05:00 AM

    Last time when I was in junior college (JC) I had always felt I was an Arts student in a Science atmosphere.
    I enjoyed myself in my drama and dance classes but I really loathed lab (laboratory lessons).
    I loved painting and drawing; but would rather drink acid than solve another chemical equation.

    But having gone into the Architecture course in spite of studying triple science subjects all my secondary and JC life, I am starting to feel the reverse; a Science student in an Arty-farty world.
    I love the physics behind the Building module and I am starting to dread going to sketch classes...

    I'm one confused person...

    So anyway, I decided to revive my love for the Arts and go to the Singapore Biennale 2006 (SB2006), Singapore's inaugural international biennale of contemporary art.
    The name Biennale is Italian, meaning 'every other year'.

    There is one in almost every major city in the world after every 2 years. And the theme differs from city to city.
    In Venice, home to the most important Biennale (that takes place for up to three months), the theme is 'Cities, Architecture and Society'.
    There are other notable Biennales too in cities like Sao Paulo, Berlin, Moscow, Sydney and Istanbul to name few.
    And here in Singapore, the theme for this year is 'Belief' and it runs from 4th September to 11th November.

    What is it all about?

    SB2006 is a major international contemporary art exhibition that will feature over 95 artists and artists collectives from over 38 countries and regions including our very own sunny Singapore.

    These art installations are scattered across Singapore (mostly in the 'city' area). Most of these art pieces are housed in or around Singapore's religious sites like Sri Krishnan Temple, St Joseph's Church, Kwan Im Thong Hood Cho Temple, Maghain Aboth Synagogue, Sultan Mosque (see picture) and the most 'religious' site of all, Orchard Road.
    Hence, the relevance to the theme, 'Belief'.

    There are also exhibitions in other historical monuments like City Hall (closed to the public till 20th September because of the stupid IMF / World Bank Annual General Meetings), Singapore National Museum and the Padang.

    My friends and I had decided to go to one of the guided tours to the religious sites (named 'Stairway to Heaven') Saturday morning. And I was decked out in my 'Cam(era) Whore' tee and I was really looking forward to doing just that, along with being artistically-enlightened of course...

    Sadly, being punctual wasn't one thing we were good at as we were late by 15 minutes and I guess the tour group left without us...

    So we took matters into our own hands and decided to have the tour ourselves.

    First on our list, we went to the newly renovated and soon-to-be-officially-opened-this-December, National Museum of Singapore. It was bigger than I remember it was because of the new extension, an additional 10,000 sqm of floor space. Its design now is really interesting; with a blend of neoclassicism colonial and zen modern (with glass panels and stone features). Very Singapore-style, I would say.

    Anyway, its only housing one exhibition at the moment, and that is the Biennale's. However, that said, its really really awesome and I would definitely recommend it to all of you to come take a look for yourselves.

    Not to be missed in the exhibition is the "syn chron" Installation by Carsten Nicolai; it resembles a huge, odd but geometric-shaped spacescraft where you can enter to enjoy the dizzying light-display and hypnotizing high-pitched sounds that somehow eventually lulls you to sleep (well almost...).

    The theme surrounding the exhibition revolves around suicide, the death penalty and death itself. (see the cheery-coloured manga girls' hakakiri left)

    Though the entire exhibition sounds dark, I find it particularly interesting as all the art pieces there were tied down to the main theme, 'Belief', by the centre piece (at least I think it was) which was a huge 5-framed artiste's interpretation of the "Last Supper"; five superimposed black and white photographs of the "Last Supper" in Madamme Tussauds wax museum.

    The art pieces were not just restricted to canvases as there was also a video piece. It was also titled the "Last Supper" but this time, the video was touching on the last meal inmates and accused (like victims of witch hunts, families of those guilty, etc.) were served before they faced execution.

    And I found it really thought-provoking. Another not-to-be-missed feature.

    After the exciting trip to the National Museum we headed down to the Singapore Arts Museum (SAM) where we 'camera-whored' some more.

    There are currently two major exhibitions (alongside the permanent gallery, "Art of Our Time") which are the "Telah Terbit" and "All the Best. The Deutsche Bank Collection".

    The former is an exhibition about Southeast Asian (SEA) Contemporary Art during the 1970s; there are many interesting paintings and sculptures which themes range from SEA's political struggles to the pervesion of ancient monuments, etc.

    And the latter is an exhibition with over 150 works on paper and photographs by world famous artists of European moden art and international contemporary art. And the Pritzker Prize winner, architect Zaha Hadid (she is everywhere!), was involved as the designer of the site-specific spatial landscape for the entire gallery.

    She is a really amazing architect. I think she is like the Louis Kahn or Le Corbusier (modern architects) of our time!

    Anyway, photography was not allowed in the galleries but what the hell. Rather than just relying on our not-so-nice sketches, we also played cat and mouse with the security guards there and took quick snap shots with our camera phones of the interesting artwork and especially Zaha Hadid's (larger than life) pieces.

    We ended the day off with a visit to URA (Urban Redevelopment Authority) Centre at Maxwell Road, where there was an exhibition titled, "Exotic More or Less."

    It is showcases the works of two local architectural firms, WOHA and W Architects with pieces found locally and regionally. A must-see for budding architects.

    That was a really fun day out! Though we had covered not even a quarter of the entire Biennale's exhibition, we were really drained out. Maybe we can go after the stupid IMF thing is over, so by then, we can cover City Hall. Wadaya say, guys?

    See here for pictures.

    Note: Entry to most venues are free.

    But for those which are not (National Museum, Singapore Art Museum, City Hall, Tanglin Camp), tickets can be purchased at S$5 per person at the Biennale booth at Singapore Management University (SMU, opposite the Singapore National Museum, see picture).

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    Lighten up, lah...
    Bitched on: Friday, September 15, 2006
    Time: 9/15/2006 09:17:00 PM

    I saw this piece of news online.
    (Yes... I surf the net to read up on news too. Surprise, surprise...)

    "Muslims angry over pope's remarks"

    Which makes me wonder... I'm a Muslim. So should I be angry?
    Are ALL muslims angry now?
    And this coming from a respectable online News website.

    Anyway, what was it that supposedly 'angered us'?
    What did the pope even say?

    Pope Benedict XVI had quoted from a book recounting a conversation between 14th century Byzantine Christian Emperor Manuel Paleologos II and a Persian scholar on the truths of Christianity and Islam.

    The pope said, "The emperor comes to speak about the issue of jihad, holy war. He said, I quote, 'Show me just what Mohammed (SAW) brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached.'"

    He was just quoting what a dead emperor said centuries ago!

    Yet, the media in Islamic countries and thousands of Muslims worldwide must have 'ignored' that fact and heard, "Mohammed (SAW)... blah...blah...evil and inhuman... blah..."

    And what I think the Islamic extremists heard was, "Jihad... blah... blah... Jihad... blah... Jihad... blah..."

    So what do I think? Lighten up, lah...
    Its not like he said he agreed with the quote (neither did he repudiate it... hmmm... Now that's wrong.)

    But why the ultra-sensitivity?
    First the Danish caricature controversy, and now this.
    Its things like these that makes us look like cry-babies with violent tantrums.

    Goodness...

    That said, it does not mean that I would just stand and watch if our names have been tarnished.
    And I am not saying that we should not care or respond.
    But why fight fire with fire?

    And that said, I am not implying that I won't fight for Islam if ever I feel our existence is threatened.
    I would die for my religion.
    I would die for what I believe in.

    Wah... heavy stuff...

    And that is true for anyone with any faith.
    Christian. Jew. Hindu. Buddhist.

    Recently, I saw this vandalised onto the toilet wall;


    It says; "ISLAM TERRORIST."
    Along with other hurtful and insensitive statements.

    Like "F*ck Islam", "F*ck all Muslims" and lastly "F*ck 'ALLAH'".

    The last one was damn hurtful. Not only because of the obvious, he (it was a male toilet, so... duh) had actually put inverted commas, implying that the Almighty is not real or true.

    The first thing that went through my mind was anger and outrage.
    This is Singapore. Home to sensible and tolerant Singaporeans of many races and religions.
    Muslims here are generally moderate and have done nothing to have angered or hurt the others (cept maybe that JI-Yishun-bomb-scare-thingy...yikes...).

    So why was this son-of-a-bitch saying all this?
    Did we hurt him or his family? Did we insult him or his faith? Are all muslims terrorists in his eyes? What drove him to write this?

    But now, come to think of it, I pity him. This person must really have a small mind like that of a child's; blinded by the negative images he sees of Islam in the media. He is without a doubt, ignorant about the truth and beauty of the religion. He is also a coward, expressing himself on a stinking toilet wall, of all places.

    Plus, he is SO going to hell.

    So, let people say what they want.
    Let them do what they want.
    Let God punish them if thay are wrong. Not us.
    That is why its called the Judgement Day.

    And I will pray for their souls then...

    Ya rite...

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    I'm an adult.
    Bitched on: Monday, September 11, 2006
    Time: 9/11/2006 02:14:00 AM

    I'm 21.

    Yay!!!

    Ehem...

    I mean, good for me.

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    THANK YOU
    Bitched on: Saturday, September 09, 2006
    Time: 9/09/2006 09:14:00 PM

    Thanks to all who have made my 21st birthday party a success.

    Even though I felt it wasn't much so... lol...

    I was running around so much especially up and down that God-damned Never.. Nevetheran (wadeva) road picking up 'lost' people that I was hardly around at the party.

    Paper plates and the punch kept running out, not once but twice.
    Poor Daddy dearest had to drive to and fro the nearby Changi Village to buy the drinks.

    And it was drizzling at first. Slightly, but it made me panic nevertheless.

    And some friends were upset with the behaviour of some friends. It was a bit out-of-hand lah, I admit.
    I was seriously a kancheong spider (panicky).
    Didn't really get to 'control the situation' cause I felt like I was overstretched.

    Hence, I was going around apologising to people for not spending time to catch up.
    And juggling with phonecalls from people who were lost and couldn't find the location.
    I was a busy busy man...

    So again, I apologise to all those friends whom I didn't really get to sit down and chit-chat.

    To all those old (almost lost touch) friends who made their appearance, I thank you.
    Aida and Tini; Morjack; and Thomas. It was really nice seeing all of you again.
    Sorry Morjack, cause I think you felt a bit out-of-place... lol.

    Thanks to all those SDE peeps (raggers) for making the party very lively and rowdy.
    S-U-C-C-E-S-S...

    Thanks to the Falcon colleagues who came (almost) full-strength. It was really great seeing you all again. All have bikes already, ah?

    Thanks to all those CSS peeps. Especially to Suriya cause he came down despite his race the next day; Erman came down too despite having just finished his reservist duty that day; and lastly to Shihan for being the earliest to arrive, and one of the last few to leave.

    Thanks to my beloved 6C class for coming down too, though it was late... Better late than never... Haha... And it was 'fun' watching you drive, Jon.

    And thanks to my BMTC mates, especially DX for coming down despite working after that and had to leave early. See ya online, Peck. Weiyong, I want to meet your 'imaginary' girlfriend someday.

    Thanks Farhan for rushing down after work.
    Haikal too for skipping your CCA. Cheers mates.

    Thanks twinny (Yanti) for sharing the moment with me to cut cake.
    And to the Melayu NJ gang (Koon Yen included, lol) also, thanks. Faiz, you got me that CD which I really wanted (back). And Mat, I think the hair voucher is really for you, but thanks nevertheless, lol...

    Thanks to Talib and Harith, there was this mini-reunion for me and my distant ('long lost') cousin, Nizam. Lol...

    A BIG thank you for all the archi people who came (I know, you guys were also 'representing' some people who couldn't be there). Sorry Dooooraaaa dear, cause I'm like the worst host, lol. Your incentive for coming down is my erm... gratitude...

    Finally, my gratitude goes to the house reps for rushing down after their busy day to gossip with me late into the night. Mikey, Pingie, Merv and Zing, thanks... cause you guys HAD to come down (especially Merv and Pingie whom I would have slaughtered if you two were not there). Thanks Shuyan, its the thought that counts... lol.

    Apologies to Wenhui, best buddy, for not really getting to talk to ya, but I will see ya in school.
    And thanks Zhenjia for coming down (...my last guest) despite going to SOMEBODY's birthday party before mine (kidding, boy)...

    And in a weird way, thank you to all who couldn't make it (and had the courtesy to call or SMS me... ehem...). If you did come, I wouldn't have enough food or drinks to serve ya all (I am such a bad host) nor would I have any place to cramp you all in the chalet...
    Weiling darling, how can I get angry with you?

    And my cousins too, THANK YOU for being there. And I'm truly sorry if I was too busy to even sit down and chat with you at all during the party.
    But we did have that slumber party after everyone went home.
    And my unlikely hero, Shahrin (the bold toddler who was entertaining and playing with the guests) for being the cutest (not to mention, free-of-charge) entertainer.
    He was going around mingling with the crowd, charming them. So adorable... lol..

    And to my sisters, you two have been A GREAT HELP; cutting cake, cleaning up and doing all the little things I forgot and oversaw.

    Lastly, to my parents.
    I love you.
    Thank you Daddy, for all the running around to buy the food and drinks.
    THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU.
    And I feel a bit sorry I didn't get to take a picture with just you two in the end...
    Sianz..

    If I have left out anyone, I'm sorry. And thank you.
    I feel so blessed to have family and friends like you all.
    And I am so incredibly grateful for the gifts too.

    THANK YOU.

    See here for the pictures.

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    It's my party and I cry if I want to...
    Bitched on: Thursday, September 07, 2006
    Time: 9/07/2006 11:43:00 PM

    Almost everything that can go wrong has gone wrong.

    So wrong...

    It all started from that day when I had decided to have the party in the first place...
    Then, I couldn't book that chalet I wanted; on that day I wanted it to be on.
    Even though it was over 2 months before the big day.

    So I'm stuck with Friday (Gosh! Its tomorrow!) At @#$ chalet.

    You would think I would have learnt my lesson by now and start to plan everything ahead.
    But you know me, procastination is my middle name.

    So I ordered the food and cake at the last minute too (in fact I ordered the cake this morning itself!). The cake I wanted was sold-out and I had to settle for another alternative.
    Sianzzz...

    Plus, my Mum invited my aunties (with their grandchildren in tow), so there goes my 'party' party theme that I had initially hoped for.

    And to make matters worst, people (I shouldn't bother myself labelling them as 'friends' and so I should start deleting them from my contacts...) have been telling me at the last minute that they can't make it or are still undecided.

    Hmmm... I can't fathom how so many last minute things can suddenly 'pop' up. And coincidentally on the day before too.
    (My grandma has just been hospitalised but I'm still going ahead with my party... Man, I need to get my priorities right... lol...)

    So many freaking SMSes telling me, "Im sori dis sounds so last minute, but I cant make it tmr."
    Why?
    "I haf somethin on."
    Gee. That's useful to know.

    My heart actually skips a beat now whenever I hear my phone's message alert.
    So I'm turning off my phone tomorrow.

    Sigh... I can't be bothered to 'beg' anymore.
    Want to come, come.
    Don't want to come, DON'T COME.

    So there.

    And there are those who are still not responsive.
    HELLO? Are you dead or alive?
    Hell, if I do have leftovers tomorrow (which I predict I would have tonnes), I would offer that to your spirits...

    ARGH!!!

    I am not going to lie and say that all this does not bother me at all or I'm not bitter about it.
    But if you all have known me by now, I am spiteful and can be a total bastard.

    So all these people can kiss my behind.
    After you are done smooching with my posterior, you can crawl out of my butt crack and do the anatomically impossible and go fornicate yourself.


    Blogger's Note:
    Blogger wrote this out of frustration and would be feeling guilty by the next day, depending on the success of his 'happening' beach party.

    Blogger is not implying that all his friends are like this, in fact, blogger fails to mention that some of his friends are making time from their busy schedule to come to his 'party', even though its on the East-side (Wah! So bloody far!) and its on a Friday (Why Friday night? Why not Saturday?).

    Like the Blogger's sister who is faking an MC tomorrow. And all his other friends who are skipping their late night school and CCAs.

    So thanks...

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    Birthday Wish
    Bitched on: Tuesday, September 05, 2006
    Time: 9/05/2006 12:12:00 AM

    Let's rewind to five years back.

    Back to the time when those combs with the sharp long ends were 'in' and tucked into the back pockets of any schoolboy you see.
    A time when hair gell ruled and wax was what candles were made off.
    When a pair of baggy jeans was considered hip and the idea of wearing a pair of tapered pants was almost unconceivable.
    The good ol' days when school children still abide by school rules and pluto was still a planet...

    I will remember that day vividly.
    It was the eve of my birthday.
    And I was still in my tight school pants about to go home with my classmates when one of them asked me, "Shazi, what do you want for your birthday?"

    And I said half seriously, half jokingly (complete with enough 'bimboticness' to make the reigning Miss Universe proud)...

    "World Peace."

    I never got what I wanted.

    The next day, on my birthday, ironically, terrorists hijacked planes and crashed them into the heart of America. Two planes took down the twin towers in New York City, one crashed into the Pentagon in Washington and one crashed into a field, narrowly missing the intended target (presumably the White House).

    Unless you are completely ignorant or have the IQ equivalent to that of a chimp's, you would have already guessed by now that my birthday falls on the 11th of September.

    Yes, my wish came 'true'...
    In a sort of twisted and... completely opposite way.

    After that day, 'terrorism' became a realisation.

    Though not new in countries like Israel and Sri Lanka at that time, the whole world suddenly sat up and took notice.

    It wasn't just a term anymore to imply suicide bombings.
    Terrorism is more than that now, its on a larger scale.
    Its now a global threat, not just a regional 'problem'.
    It has become war.
    The world is now gripped with more fear than before.
    And its obvious as security tightens everywhere you go.
    No country feels safe from the threat.
    Almost every country have their faceless terrorist enemies.
    Not only that, paranoia and suspicions have grown exponentially.
    Islam is looked at differently now.
    Islam has been misinterpreted.

    Its not just a religion now, its a 'suspect'.

    911 was like the beginning of a new era.
    'Terrorism' is to the twentieth century like how the World War is to the 19th century.
    It sparked off a series of 'wars against terrorism', copycat terrorist acts and more retaliations.

    The Afghan war. The Gulf War II. The Madrid train bombings. The Bali bombings. The London train and bus bombings. The rise in the the Israel-Palestine conflicts. Jemaah Islamiah's foiled plan to attack Singapore. Jakarta hotel bombings. Not to mention the many foiled attacks in the US and Europe.

    World Peace was the last thing that happened.

    Bottomline is, don't ask me what I want for my birthday.
    Or what I wish for, or what I need...
    I am a firm believer now that you should never reveal whatever you had wished or intended to wish for.

    It will never come true.

    Trust me.

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    3 999 999 Smiles
    Bitched on: Saturday, September 02, 2006
    Time: 9/02/2006 12:19:00 AM

    I'm not smiling...

    Stupid IMF (International Monetary Funds) meetings...

    Because of that, some of my friends (those still in the Army) can't come to my birthday party (which is this coming Friday FYI).

    Even my second sis is not able to attend (she is a policewoman).

    Anyway, to those who haven't confirm with me their attendance, please do so ASAP. I need to order the food.

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    Archi-'torture': The first submission...
    Bitched on: Friday, September 01, 2006
    Time: 9/01/2006 05:21:00 PM

    What did I get myself into?


    I haven't been updating lately, hor?

    Cause I have been busy...
    Incredibly busy...
    (Its true what they say about the course.)

    My first submission was yesterday and the last few nights before that has been hell...

    Sleeping for only 3 hours tops each night before climaxing to a no-sleep-at-all-eve-of-submission.

    And that's not the torturing thing, the most 'torturing' thing was listening to all the losers in the other studios bragging and complaining about how little sleep they got.
    "I slept for two hours last night."
    "Really? I got only half an hour."
    "You two can't beat me, I didn't even get to sleep!"

    Grow up, guys...
    So mature...

    That's the pressure. From all these peers who are 'workaholics' in nature.
    24-7 in the studio.
    Lifeless...
    Geeks...

    And thats pressurizing.

    Why must people work so hard and insist on bragging to others?
    If not so, why must people make their life hard and complain about it?

    Why?

    I too have been working my butt off, re-doing some of my drawings and my model.
    And I'm not complaining.
    If I have to work late into the night, its not because I want to brag about it the next day to my peers, its because I want my work to be my best.
    So there. Que sera sera.

    Speaking of models, my studio tutor wanted us to do something unconventional and different from the other studios (which had to make a model of the zoo) and do it 'abstract'.
    Like how we feel when we went to the zoo, about the architecture, the structures and the atmosphere and translate that into our model.

    And we did receive flaks and 'teasings' from other studios who felt our workload was lighter than theirs.
    Go suck-thumb lah...

    And to top it off, my studio tutor has to be the most lenient of the tutors. She doesn't make us re-do our work unlike other studio tutors (for sure). She is soft-spoken and she has so far been impressed by our work.

    Which made my studiomate and I a tad worried about our standards and progress. Whether it was the same as the others or lower. And whether we would 'die' under another tutor next semester.

    We raised our concerns to her. We wanted her to be in a way 'strict' like the other tutors. We 'begged' her to make our workload heavier.

    But she asked the studio in her 'zen-calm'-way, "Who chose this course because you like architecture, despite your parents' or friends' negative takes on the course?"

    The entire studio (12 of us) raised our hands.

    "So why should I scare you off from doing something you love?"

    Well said.

    Plus, she reasons, we will have more time to do our research.
    She doesn't care if our lines are straight or not, she wants us to understand architecture (I was tempted to say 'fully understand' but she did say that no one can do that).

    She just wants us to embrace it.

    To appreciate it.

    And especially to enjoy it.


    So what did I get myself into?
    Something I love.

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