Dear Architects,
I am sick of your shit.

Once, a long time ago in the days of yore, I had a friend who was studying architecture to become, presumably, an architect.
This friend introduced me to other friends, who were also studying architecture. Then these friends had other friends who were architects - real architects doing real architecture like designing luxury condos that look a lot like glass dildos. And these real architects knew other real architects and now the only people I know are architects. And they all design glass dildos that I will never work or live in and serve only to obstruct my view of New Jersey.

Do not get me wrong, architects. I like you as a person. I think you are nice, smell good most of the time, and I like your glasses. You have crazy hair, and if you are lucky, most of it is on your head. But I do not care about architecture. It is true. This is what I do care about:

* burritos
* hedgehogs
* coffee

As you can see, architecture is not on the list. I believe that architecture falls somewhere between toenail fungus and invasive colonoscopy in the list of things that interest me.

Perhaps if you didn’t talk about it so much, I would be more interested. When you point to a glass cylinder and say proudly, hey my office designed that, I giggle and say it looks like a bong. You turn your head in disgust and shame. You think, obviously she does not understand. What does she know? She is just a writer. She is no architect. She respects vowels, not glass cocks. And then you say now I am designing a lifestyle center, and I ask what is that, and you say it is a place that offers goods and services and retail opportunities and I say you mean like a mall and you say no. It is a lifestyle center. I say it sounds like a mall. I am from the Valley, bitch. I know malls.

Architects, I will not lie, you confuse me. You work sixty, eighty hours a week and yet you are always poor. Why aren’t you buying me a drink? Where is your bounty of riches? Maybe you spent it on merlot. Maybe you spent it on hookers and blow. I cannot be sure. It is a mystery. I will leave that to the scientists to figure out.

Architects love to discuss how much sleep they have gotten. One will say how he was at the studio until five in the morning, only to return again two hours later. Then another will say, oh that is nothing. I haven’t slept in a week. And then another will say, guess what, I have never slept ever. My dear architects, the measure of how hard you’ve worked and how much you’ve accomplished is not related to the number of hours you have not slept. Have you heard of Rem Koolhaas? He is a famous architect. I know this because you tell me he is a famous architect. I hear that Rem Koolhaas is always sleeping. He is, I presume, sleeping right now. And I hear he gets shit done. And I also hear that in a stunning move, he is making a building that looks not like a glass cock, but like a concrete vagina. When you sleep more, you get vagina. You can all take a lesson from Rem Koolhaas.

Life is hard for me, please understand. Architects are an important part of my existence. They call me at eleven at night and say they just got off work, am I hungry? Listen, it is practically midnight. I ate hours ago. So long ago that, in fact, I am hungry again. So yes, I will go. Then I will go and there will be other architects talking about AutoCAD shortcuts and something about electric panels and can you believe that is all I did today, what a drag. I look around the table at the poor, tired, and hungry, and think to myself, I have but only one bullet left in the gun. Who will I choose?

I have a friend who is a doctor. He gives me drugs. I enjoy them. I have a friend who is a lawyer. He helped me sue my landlord. My architect friends have given me nothing. No drugs, no medical advice, and they don’t know how to spell subpoena. One architect friend figured out that my apartment was one hundred and eighty seven square feet. That was nice. Thanks for that.

I suppose one could ask what someone like me brings to architects like yourselves. I bring cheer. I yell at architects when they start talking about architecture. I force them to discuss far more interesting topics, like turkey eggs. Why do we eat chicken eggs, but not turkey eggs? They are bigger. And people really like turkey. See? I am not afraid to ask the tough questions.

So, dear architects, I will stick around, for only a little while. I hope that one day some of you will become doctors and lawyers or will figure out my taxes. And we will laugh at the days when you spent the entire evening talking about some European you’ve never met who designed a building you will never see because you are too busy working on something that will never get built. But even if that day doesn’t arrive, give me a call anyway, I am free.

Yours truly,
Annie Choi

Labels: architecture, school

Labels: architecture, school

The "Cool Dome" design, submitted by the Singapore Sports Hub consortium, will be Singapore's next iconic structure.

The Singapore government on Saturday revealed the consortium as its preferred bidder for the Singapore Sports Hub project.

The consortium beats two other bids.

These were the "Horse shoe shaped design" submitted by the Singapore Gold consortium and the "wrapped-Stadium design" submitted by the Alpine Mayreder.

The new sports hub will be completed by end 2011 and will cost some S$1.2 billion.
The integrated complex includes a 55,000-seat capacity stadium with a retractable roof, an aquatic centre, multi-purpose arena and retail space.

In sunny Singapore, the "dome" will allow plenty of ventilation and help bring the temperature down along with spot cooling for the seats.

- Channelnewsasia.com

Labels: architecture, Strictly Architecture

"The new waterfront promenade and bridge at Marina Bay by COX Group, Arup Pte Ltd (Australia) and Architects 61 : a 280 metre bridge designed as a double helix structure. It comprises two opposite spiralling steel members that are held together by a series of connecting struts to form a tubular structure." -www.worldarchitecturenews.com

Picture from http://www.worldarchitecturenews.com/

Picture from Foster+Partners website

Picture from Foster+Partners website

Other than incorporating the existing blocks of colonial-looking buildings into the design, Foster has also made it 'green', passing the local ‘Platinum’ sustainable/green design rating.

"The canopy is articulated by ribbon-forms that flex above the primary circulation routes and public spaces and dip near the edges - reflecting the changes of use beneath it. The ribbons rise up the exposed east and west elevations of the towers where they form a series of vertical louvres. These filter the sun and provide a framework for the planting which will transform the towers into a series of vertically linked green spaces. The buildings’ forms and slanted facades are oriented to catch the prevailing winds and direct air flow down to cool the ground level spaces." -www.fosterandpartners.com

I simply love 'green' architecture. Not only does it look aesthetically pleasing and befitting in our Garden City, it also uses much less energy (or some Zero Energy Buildings, ZEB, use none at all) to operate, mostly because its design minimize the negative environmental impact of buildings by enhancing efficiency of the energy used.

For example, designs which promote natural ventilation is definitely preferred to simply air-conditioning a building because one, it saves electricity and two, the air quality is better.

And since reducing energy usage, as well as its polluting effects, has the utmost importance in the world right now, architects should be designing buildings with sustainability and efficiency in mind. Especially since buildings use a huge percentage of energy globally daily.

To be continued in Part 2.

See the rest of Architecture-related entries in: Strictly Architecture

Labels: architecture, Strictly Architecture

0 comments

Lose weight in less than five days!!!

Bitched on: Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Time: 11/14/2007 07:43:00 PM

I went to gym today and measured myself on the weighing scale. I lost 3 kg!!!

Yes!!!

I can just imagine the commercial ad...

"If you wanna lose weight fast and in less than five days, forget taking diet pills and exercising!

Join the architecture course!!!

You will lose inches off your waist instantly, especially during the days leading up to submission!

Here's what a satisfied costumer has to say, "I was so worried to wear my notoriously tight khaki pants for my crit on Monday but it fit perfectly on the big day... with a little room to spare, might I add".

Say goodbye to love-handles and the "pangea" on your tummy will miraculously show signs of 'separation' almost immediately.

It really works.

What are you waiting for?
Join us now!

Side effects: The most stressful 4-40 years of your life, major break-outs and countless sleepless nights. May eventually result in premature death."

Labels: architecture, school

0 comments

Busy busy...

Bitched on: Monday, November 12, 2007
Time: 11/12/2007 08:05:00 PM

Hey sorry guys, I had been busy for my submission (which was today; and my crit was today too!).

Been freaking busy. Haven't slept for days.

I have a freakin huge pimple in between my eyes, on my nose bridge. What the *beep*.
Cause I have been working at home these few days and was wearing glasses the whole time.

Working at home is wonderful man... So many 'manpower' to help out in my models...

Thanks Mummy and Daddy, Kakak Ya and Kakak In. You guys have been a fantastic help!!!

Post pictures of my models soon... :)

Labels: architecture, school

0 comments

Architects.

Bitched on: Friday, October 26, 2007
Time: 10/26/2007 12:28:00 PM

This is what's on my wallpaper now (above).

God, I feel miserable...

Labels: architecture, school

0 comments

What is architecture? Singapore's future look.

Bitched on: Saturday, April 07, 2007
Time: 4/07/2007 03:39:00 PM

See previous entries: What is architecture?
建築はである何?

I feel like I'm writing an essay. lol... But a good essay isn't complete without a conclusion or an insight into things to come.

So still on the topic of IR (Integrated Resort) from the last entry, the one in Marina Bay would look something like this:

It is designed by another internationally-renowned Israeli architect Moshe Safdie. Click on the image above to see the reasons why it won (which came as a surprise to many, myself included).

Besides the IR, another much-anticipated addition to the Marina Bay area would be the Marina Barrage (below). Technically we can't call the Singapore River a river anymore and that sucks (all the history and wildlife would be gone just like that).

And the London Eye copycat and almost-world's-largest-ferris-world-until-China-announced-her-plans-to-build-a-larger-one-just-a-few-days-later, Singapore Flyer.

Two words: No originality.

And the new National Stadium would look something like this;

"With an estimated cost of $600 million, Singapore Gold’s horseshoe shaped National Stadium, designed by HOK Sport Architecture, will boast the world’s first waterfront stadium with a retractable roof. The horse shoe design provides a view of the Kallang Basin and the city, while allowing the natural breeze to cool the stadium."

Nice... Kinda makes you forget why you were so upset about them demolishing the old Kallang National stadium there for a minute.

And finally, good news to all OMA (Office for Metropolitan Architecture) and Rem Koolhaas fans (the what and the who now?), they have finally decided to build something on our shores (despite having slammed Singapore earlier in the book S,M,L,XL; Singapore songlines - thirty years of tabula rasa ).

Now that's very sexy...

On a final note, to all my fellow architecture lovers, here's a cool website I find really awesome. Do check it out.

Labels: architecture, Strictly Architecture

Unique, bold and experimental. Singapore can't seem to handle it just yet, which is a huge pity if Singapore wants to expand beyond the Bali-island-resort architecture. So instead of something futuristic and timeless, we have this:


Have I seen that before? Oh yeah, in Genting Highlands. So much kitsch, it turns my stomach. So what if it has Universal Studios? Would a tourist from Australia or United States be wondering, "Gee, I'm sick of the Universal Studios here in (insert name of country here), maybe I'll go halfway across the globe to Singapore's,"?

Maybe the Singaporean government should have thought long term.

Gehry's design = more tourism = more revenue = future themeparks (Universal Studios or Disneyland even).

Labels: architecture, Strictly Architecture

I also came across this article about branded condos (condos designed by internationally-renowned star-chitects). Which is a good trend, I think. This shows Singaporeans are more refined and cultured now to be able to appreciate good architecture and even their architects. So move over Prada and Ferarri, I want me a Libeskind or a Zaha Hadid.

(In case you're wondering, the 'Erwin Viray' they keep quoting from in the article is my Dr Erwin Viray, my studio tutor.)

The architecture is just so Libeskind's style. Very sexy might I add.

Speaking of sexy condos, I simply cannot wait for The Sail @ Marina Bay. Simply sexy and curvaceous. Halfway through the construction and it already looks promising.

Labels: architecture, Strictly Architecture

If you think the picture looks highly suspicious, then you, my friend, have a very sharp eyesight. Its not a picture of the famous UOB towers. Its of Tange's Tokyo Metropolitan Government Office. No one can blame you if you didn't see that one coming.

These two pairs of buildings are almost identical! Gasp!

Talk about recycled designs.

Another Asian architect who has made it huge (mega huge) in the architectural industry is I.M. Pei, he designed the controversional glass pyramids of the Lourve museum in Paris for one.

He is also the first star-chitect to have graced our shores in 1975 (thanks to him, many offers from other architects came pouring in) with OCBC tower (bottom, left) as the first of his many contributions.

He designed Raffles City (right) as well. Rumours had it that he had a huge disagreement with the local firm and left in the middle of the construction (which might explain why the building is circular on one side and angular on the other...kidding).

He also designed Kallang Indoor theatre and The Gateway (below) as well.

Which, to me, is the finest piece of architecture in Singapore. Simple, geometric and even playful (looks 2-dimensional at certain angles). I can't say the same for its neighbour Parkview Square a.k.a Gotham City building (the pseudo art deco-esque building).

Labels: architecture, Strictly Architecture

Dear Architects,
I am sick of your shit.

Once, a long time ago in the days of yore, I had a friend who was studying architecture to become, presumably, an architect.
This friend introduced me to other friends, who were also studying architecture. Then these friends had other friends who were architects - real architects doing real architecture like designing luxury condos that look a lot like glass dildos. And these real architects knew other real architects and now the only people I know are architects. And they all design glass dildos that I will never work or live in and serve only to obstruct my view of New Jersey.

Do not get me wrong, architects. I like you as a person. I think you are nice, smell good most of the time, and I like your glasses. You have crazy hair, and if you are lucky, most of it is on your head. But I do not care about architecture. It is true. This is what I do care about:

* burritos
* hedgehogs
* coffee

As you can see, architecture is not on the list. I believe that architecture falls somewhere between toenail fungus and invasive colonoscopy in the list of things that interest me.

Perhaps if you didn’t talk about it so much, I would be more interested. When you point to a glass cylinder and say proudly, hey my office designed that, I giggle and say it looks like a bong. You turn your head in disgust and shame. You think, obviously she does not understand. What does she know? She is just a writer. She is no architect. She respects vowels, not glass cocks. And then you say now I am designing a lifestyle center, and I ask what is that, and you say it is a place that offers goods and services and retail opportunities and I say you mean like a mall and you say no. It is a lifestyle center. I say it sounds like a mall. I am from the Valley, bitch. I know malls.

Architects, I will not lie, you confuse me. You work sixty, eighty hours a week and yet you are always poor. Why aren’t you buying me a drink? Where is your bounty of riches? Maybe you spent it on merlot. Maybe you spent it on hookers and blow. I cannot be sure. It is a mystery. I will leave that to the scientists to figure out.

Architects love to discuss how much sleep they have gotten. One will say how he was at the studio until five in the morning, only to return again two hours later. Then another will say, oh that is nothing. I haven’t slept in a week. And then another will say, guess what, I have never slept ever. My dear architects, the measure of how hard you’ve worked and how much you’ve accomplished is not related to the number of hours you have not slept. Have you heard of Rem Koolhaas? He is a famous architect. I know this because you tell me he is a famous architect. I hear that Rem Koolhaas is always sleeping. He is, I presume, sleeping right now. And I hear he gets shit done. And I also hear that in a stunning move, he is making a building that looks not like a glass cock, but like a concrete vagina. When you sleep more, you get vagina. You can all take a lesson from Rem Koolhaas.

Life is hard for me, please understand. Architects are an important part of my existence. They call me at eleven at night and say they just got off work, am I hungry? Listen, it is practically midnight. I ate hours ago. So long ago that, in fact, I am hungry again. So yes, I will go. Then I will go and there will be other architects talking about AutoCAD shortcuts and something about electric panels and can you believe that is all I did today, what a drag. I look around the table at the poor, tired, and hungry, and think to myself, I have but only one bullet left in the gun. Who will I choose?

I have a friend who is a doctor. He gives me drugs. I enjoy them. I have a friend who is a lawyer. He helped me sue my landlord. My architect friends have given me nothing. No drugs, no medical advice, and they don’t know how to spell subpoena. One architect friend figured out that my apartment was one hundred and eighty seven square feet. That was nice. Thanks for that.

I suppose one could ask what someone like me brings to architects like yourselves. I bring cheer. I yell at architects when they start talking about architecture. I force them to discuss far more interesting topics, like turkey eggs. Why do we eat chicken eggs, but not turkey eggs? They are bigger. And people really like turkey. See? I am not afraid to ask the tough questions.

So, dear architects, I will stick around, for only a little while. I hope that one day some of you will become doctors and lawyers or will figure out my taxes. And we will laugh at the days when you spent the entire evening talking about some European you’ve never met who designed a building you will never see because you are too busy working on something that will never get built. But even if that day doesn’t arrive, give me a call anyway, I am free.

Yours truly,
Annie Choi

Labels: architecture, school

Labels: architecture, school

The "Cool Dome" design, submitted by the Singapore Sports Hub consortium, will be Singapore's next iconic structure.

The Singapore government on Saturday revealed the consortium as its preferred bidder for the Singapore Sports Hub project.

The consortium beats two other bids.

These were the "Horse shoe shaped design" submitted by the Singapore Gold consortium and the "wrapped-Stadium design" submitted by the Alpine Mayreder.

The new sports hub will be completed by end 2011 and will cost some S$1.2 billion.
The integrated complex includes a 55,000-seat capacity stadium with a retractable roof, an aquatic centre, multi-purpose arena and retail space.

In sunny Singapore, the "dome" will allow plenty of ventilation and help bring the temperature down along with spot cooling for the seats.

- Channelnewsasia.com

Labels: architecture, Strictly Architecture

"The new waterfront promenade and bridge at Marina Bay by COX Group, Arup Pte Ltd (Australia) and Architects 61 : a 280 metre bridge designed as a double helix structure. It comprises two opposite spiralling steel members that are held together by a series of connecting struts to form a tubular structure." -www.worldarchitecturenews.com

Picture from http://www.worldarchitecturenews.com/

Picture from Foster+Partners website

Picture from Foster+Partners website

Other than incorporating the existing blocks of colonial-looking buildings into the design, Foster has also made it 'green', passing the local ‘Platinum’ sustainable/green design rating.

"The canopy is articulated by ribbon-forms that flex above the primary circulation routes and public spaces and dip near the edges - reflecting the changes of use beneath it. The ribbons rise up the exposed east and west elevations of the towers where they form a series of vertical louvres. These filter the sun and provide a framework for the planting which will transform the towers into a series of vertically linked green spaces. The buildings’ forms and slanted facades are oriented to catch the prevailing winds and direct air flow down to cool the ground level spaces." -www.fosterandpartners.com

I simply love 'green' architecture. Not only does it look aesthetically pleasing and befitting in our Garden City, it also uses much less energy (or some Zero Energy Buildings, ZEB, use none at all) to operate, mostly because its design minimize the negative environmental impact of buildings by enhancing efficiency of the energy used.

For example, designs which promote natural ventilation is definitely preferred to simply air-conditioning a building because one, it saves electricity and two, the air quality is better.

And since reducing energy usage, as well as its polluting effects, has the utmost importance in the world right now, architects should be designing buildings with sustainability and efficiency in mind. Especially since buildings use a huge percentage of energy globally daily.

To be continued in Part 2.

See the rest of Architecture-related entries in: Strictly Architecture

Labels: architecture, Strictly Architecture

Lose weight in less than five days!!!

Bitched on: Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Time: 11/14/2007 07:43:00 PM

I went to gym today and measured myself on the weighing scale. I lost 3 kg!!!

Yes!!!

I can just imagine the commercial ad...

"If you wanna lose weight fast and in less than five days, forget taking diet pills and exercising!

Join the architecture course!!!

You will lose inches off your waist instantly, especially during the days leading up to submission!

Here's what a satisfied costumer has to say, "I was so worried to wear my notoriously tight khaki pants for my crit on Monday but it fit perfectly on the big day... with a little room to spare, might I add".

Say goodbye to love-handles and the "pangea" on your tummy will miraculously show signs of 'separation' almost immediately.

It really works.

What are you waiting for?
Join us now!

Side effects: The most stressful 4-40 years of your life, major break-outs and countless sleepless nights. May eventually result in premature death."

Labels: architecture, school

Busy busy...

Bitched on: Monday, November 12, 2007
Time: 11/12/2007 08:05:00 PM

Hey sorry guys, I had been busy for my submission (which was today; and my crit was today too!).

Been freaking busy. Haven't slept for days.

I have a freakin huge pimple in between my eyes, on my nose bridge. What the *beep*.
Cause I have been working at home these few days and was wearing glasses the whole time.

Working at home is wonderful man... So many 'manpower' to help out in my models...

Thanks Mummy and Daddy, Kakak Ya and Kakak In. You guys have been a fantastic help!!!

Post pictures of my models soon... :)

Labels: architecture, school

Architects.

Bitched on: Friday, October 26, 2007
Time: 10/26/2007 12:28:00 PM

This is what's on my wallpaper now (above).

God, I feel miserable...

Labels: architecture, school

What is architecture? Singapore's future look.

Bitched on: Saturday, April 07, 2007
Time: 4/07/2007 03:39:00 PM

See previous entries: What is architecture?
建築はである何?

I feel like I'm writing an essay. lol... But a good essay isn't complete without a conclusion or an insight into things to come.

So still on the topic of IR (Integrated Resort) from the last entry, the one in Marina Bay would look something like this:

It is designed by another internationally-renowned Israeli architect Moshe Safdie. Click on the image above to see the reasons why it won (which came as a surprise to many, myself included).

Besides the IR, another much-anticipated addition to the Marina Bay area would be the Marina Barrage (below). Technically we can't call the Singapore River a river anymore and that sucks (all the history and wildlife would be gone just like that).

And the London Eye copycat and almost-world's-largest-ferris-world-until-China-announced-her-plans-to-build-a-larger-one-just-a-few-days-later, Singapore Flyer.

Two words: No originality.

And the new National Stadium would look something like this;

"With an estimated cost of $600 million, Singapore Gold’s horseshoe shaped National Stadium, designed by HOK Sport Architecture, will boast the world’s first waterfront stadium with a retractable roof. The horse shoe design provides a view of the Kallang Basin and the city, while allowing the natural breeze to cool the stadium."

Nice... Kinda makes you forget why you were so upset about them demolishing the old Kallang National stadium there for a minute.

And finally, good news to all OMA (Office for Metropolitan Architecture) and Rem Koolhaas fans (the what and the who now?), they have finally decided to build something on our shores (despite having slammed Singapore earlier in the book S,M,L,XL; Singapore songlines - thirty years of tabula rasa ).

Now that's very sexy...

On a final note, to all my fellow architecture lovers, here's a cool website I find really awesome. Do check it out.

Labels: architecture, Strictly Architecture

Unique, bold and experimental. Singapore can't seem to handle it just yet, which is a huge pity if Singapore wants to expand beyond the Bali-island-resort architecture. So instead of something futuristic and timeless, we have this:


Have I seen that before? Oh yeah, in Genting Highlands. So much kitsch, it turns my stomach. So what if it has Universal Studios? Would a tourist from Australia or United States be wondering, "Gee, I'm sick of the Universal Studios here in (insert name of country here), maybe I'll go halfway across the globe to Singapore's,"?

Maybe the Singaporean government should have thought long term.

Gehry's design = more tourism = more revenue = future themeparks (Universal Studios or Disneyland even).

Labels: architecture, Strictly Architecture

I also came across this article about branded condos (condos designed by internationally-renowned star-chitects). Which is a good trend, I think. This shows Singaporeans are more refined and cultured now to be able to appreciate good architecture and even their architects. So move over Prada and Ferarri, I want me a Libeskind or a Zaha Hadid.

(In case you're wondering, the 'Erwin Viray' they keep quoting from in the article is my Dr Erwin Viray, my studio tutor.)

The architecture is just so Libeskind's style. Very sexy might I add.

Speaking of sexy condos, I simply cannot wait for The Sail @ Marina Bay. Simply sexy and curvaceous. Halfway through the construction and it already looks promising.

Labels: architecture, Strictly Architecture

If you think the picture looks highly suspicious, then you, my friend, have a very sharp eyesight. Its not a picture of the famous UOB towers. Its of Tange's Tokyo Metropolitan Government Office. No one can blame you if you didn't see that one coming.

These two pairs of buildings are almost identical! Gasp!

Talk about recycled designs.

Another Asian architect who has made it huge (mega huge) in the architectural industry is I.M. Pei, he designed the controversional glass pyramids of the Lourve museum in Paris for one.

He is also the first star-chitect to have graced our shores in 1975 (thanks to him, many offers from other architects came pouring in) with OCBC tower (bottom, left) as the first of his many contributions.

He designed Raffles City (right) as well. Rumours had it that he had a huge disagreement with the local firm and left in the middle of the construction (which might explain why the building is circular on one side and angular on the other...kidding).

He also designed Kallang Indoor theatre and The Gateway (below) as well.

Which, to me, is the finest piece of architecture in Singapore. Simple, geometric and even playful (looks 2-dimensional at certain angles). I can't say the same for its neighbour Parkview Square a.k.a Gotham City building (the pseudo art deco-esque building).

Labels: architecture, Strictly Architecture

1. Dear Architects, I am sick of your shit.
2. Liquid stone.
3. W.I.A? The Dome win over the toilet bowl.
4. W.I.A? Another look into Singapore's future skyline 1
5. Lose weight in less than five days!!!
6. Busy busy...
7. Architects.
8. What is architecture? Singapore's future look.
9. What is Architecture? The IR?
10. What is Architecture?
11. 建築はである何? Part 2