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World Cup!!!!
Bitched on: Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Time: 6/14/2006 01:43:00 AM
Its the season.Time: 6/14/2006 01:43:00 AM
The season for me to 'grow a penis' and start liking football (or soccer, wadeva you prefer calling it).
So you know, I'm those rare (extremely rare) Malay (I have to emphazise this) males who can't kick a soccer ball if my life depended on it.
When I dribble the ball, I look like a retard with two stumps for legs.
I have such bad leg coordination that I make a cripple look like Ronaldo.
Even my grandmother can kick further than me.
Don't talk about curves, I can't even kick the ball straight!
And I'm just as bad playing Fifa or Winning Eleven on PlayStation or XBox.
I don't see the difference between 'my' midfielder or 'my' striker so I will just hentam (whack)!
Don't talk about strategy with me, 4-3-3 or 3-4-3 or wadeva crap, I can't even get the rules right.
Took me years before I realised there was such a thing as an off-side.
Yes.
I am ignorant.
Yes.
I am a shame to all males.
But what to do?
Like this Malay saying (loosely translated),
"The rice has become porridge"
or something like that (sounds more poetic in Malay though)...
Basically, it means that its too late for me to learn how to play.
I feel self-conscience cause I know I look like an idiot with two left feet on the soccer field.
But who cares.
It won't stop me from watching the World Cup.
Its like the Olympics.
Something you just have to watch.
You don't have to be good at swimming or running marathons to enjoy the Olympics, do you?
Why must some people take it so seriously?
Its not like the country you are supporting is your homeland.
Why so much pride?
Also in this month or so, I need to muster all my acting skills.
Nodding, agreeing and chatting excitedly (and knowledgeably) about soccer to all those soccer-fanatics like my manager (not soccer manager but restaurant manager) when in actual fact I'm so bloody clueless about the team's statistics, predictions on the matches and a whole bunch of other stuff, let alone the players names.
I need to read the newspapers to 'learn' all that.
But so far I have been enjoying the 'World Cup'.
Though I have to admit, it still takes a minute or so for my brain to register when and why there is an offside.
Thank God for s-l-o-w motion replays.
Hope host country, Germany, wins...
And screw you StarHub. I want my clear RTM 1 channel back.
Labels: Miss World
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