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    Shazi Ezan

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    Taj Mahal, Agra, India

    Loch Ard Gorge, Victoria, Australia

    British Columbia, Canada

    al-Haram Mosque, Mecca, Saudi Arabia

    Beijing, China

    White House, Washington D.C., U.S.A.

    Skagway, Alaska, U.S.A.

    Sydney Opera House, Sydney, Australia

    Fatehpur Sikri, India

    Emerald Lake, Yukon, Canada

    Times Square, New York City, U.S.A.

    Dubai, United Arab Emirates

    Beijing, China

    The Twelve Apostle, Victoria, Australia

    Burj al Arab, Dubai, U.A.E.

    Emerald Lake, Yukon, Canada

    Dubai, United Arab Emirates

    The Twelve Apostle, Victoria, Australia

    Beijing, China

    Taj Mahal, Agra, India

    Credits

    Icon: LJ/sixthmile
    Layout: tuesdaynight
    Inspiration: DayBefore!Misery

    Layout: Like a knife.
    Best viewed: Mozilla Firefox.
    Resolution: 1280X800.
    The day my Superman fell.
    Bitched on: Sunday, November 18, 2007
    Time: 11/18/2007 11:15:00 PM

    Around this time, Friday night...

    My Daddy had a heart attack.

    At first we thought nothing of it. At least I thought so.
    Instead, while waiting at the waiting area of the Accident & Emergency area, I was feeling sorry for this guy I saw (around my age) whose father was involved in the 3-vehicles-accident near my place. And all along I was thinking that nothing was wrong with my Daddy.

    "He has to be fine. He is strong... like Superman."

    And I held back my emotions when the doctor told us the bad news.
    Words like "collapsing", "critical" and "emergency" were ringing in my head after he was done.

    "How could it be? Why so severe? He has never shown any... "

    Then it all made sense; he might have had his first attack in Mecca. He has been having breathless episodes since.
    But that didn't stop him from smoking... very heavily.

    The doctor said that 3 of his major arteries were blocked. Two of them completely and one of them caused the heart attack.

    The doctor had to put in a balloon thingy to clear that one problematic blockage.
    Complications with horrible consequences were there; the risk of him collapsing was there too...

    "Collapsing?"

    I had never been so scared in my life...
    That one hour operation felt like a whole night had passed.

    When I finally saw him I held back my tears. There he was, with tubes coming out from his arms, a mask over his face and a machine to help his heart pump.
    And it really broke my heart to see my Daddy suffering.

    "Please God, don't take him away. Give him strength. Let me suffer in his place."

    I broke down when I left my sleeping Daddy the first night. I sobbed at the quiet corner near the staircase, alone...

    Day two, I broke down the second time when I was alone with my sleeping Daddy in his room. He still had tubes all around him. It was very hard to see him suffering. Painful. Heart wrenching.

    "My Superman..."

    Today's the third day, and he has all the tubes removed from his arms.
    He is his old-self again. Chatting and even joking.
    He can be shifted out from the ICU in a day or so...

    "I just want my Daddy back home, safe and healthy, as soon as possible."

    I am extremely grateful...

    "Thank. You. God."

    Two more operations to go.

    "sigh..."

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    Grateful...
    Bitched on: Tuesday, October 23, 2007
    Time: 10/23/2007 01:59:00 PM

    Here I am, blogging about how crappy my life is.

    My dream girl doesn't know I exist.
    My best friends ignore me.
    I am stuck in this god-forsaken country.
    And my studies are far from how they used to be.

    Should I be so miserable?

    I know I should instead be more grateful for all the other things I have.

    I should be glad I am not mending a broken heart.
    I'm not callous, I sympathize and emphathize with my friends who are/were going through rough patches in their relationships.

    I should bear in mind that while here I am lamenting about being single there are others out there fighting to make their love 'accepted' and legalised.

    I have a happy family. Loving parents with equally loving sisters and an awesome brother-in-law. And a cute niece 'akan datang'.

    I have friends, old and new, who mean a lot to me and I know I mean a lot to them too. I have friends who are here by my side and old friends who will be there whenever I need them.

    I know I am loved.

    I should be glad that I am living in this safe country without any war or unrest.

    I should be glad I am still schooling instead of having to juggle two jobs to raise a family somewhere.

    Crap... Here I am talking crap... Sorry, being emo again...

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    Let him go...
    Bitched on: Saturday, October 20, 2007
    Time: 10/20/2007 11:28:00 PM

    "The type of guy who doesn't see
    What he has until she leaves
    Don't let me go
    Cause without me you know you're lost
    Wise up now or pay the cost
    Soon you will know"
    This song is dedicated to the important ladies in my life.

    I'm glad you are doing so well picking up the pieces of your life since the separation. It pained me to see how you were withering away. I'm glad you can completely be yourself now, living your full potential. I want to see your old self back.

    And to the one down under, I know you are strong enough to let go. Holding on to a 'dead fish' will not make it alive again. So flush him down the toilet where he belongs.

    Those guys do not know what they have lost.

    (Is it really worth it to cry every night over a guy?)

    You girls deserve so much better.

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    I'm still not letting go...
    Time: 10/20/2007 11:15:00 PM

    It took too long, it took too long
    It took too long for you to call back
    And normally I would just forget that
    Except for the fact it was my birthday
    My stupid birthday

    I played along, I played along
    I played along rolled right off my back
    But obviously my armor was cracked
    What kind of a boyfriend good friend would forget that?
    Who would forget that?

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    I'm not a baby.
    Bitched on: Sunday, October 07, 2007
    Time: 10/07/2007 12:39:00 PM

    Dear Shop Uncle,

    For years I have been buying groceries from your shop. And for years you have seen me grow up. So imagine my surprise when you asked me for my identification yesterday when I was buying a pack of cigarettes for my father.

    Clearly, I am flattered. So thanks for making my day.

    Sincerely Shazi

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    Be my Baby...
    Time: 10/07/2007 12:33:00 PM

    I can't believe I 'forgot' to say that I was looking forward to be an uncle in my previous entries!

    My sis is heavily pregnant and     insya-allah come December, a beautiful baby girl will join the family. I am so excited!

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    Emo shit
    Bitched on: Saturday, September 29, 2007
    Time: 9/29/2007 03:44:00 PM

    Yes, I know my entries are very emo and so is my MSN nick.
    No, my cat isn't dead. I just think its cute that it looks so 'depressed' hence I used it as a 'model'.

    I'm going through a very empty period in my life when nothing matters anymore. I'm simply bored. And confused. And very tired. And easily irritable.

    I guess its probably because of fasting, hence the lethargy and irritability. Though I keep telling myself to be at peace in this holy month but I can't help feeling hot-headed and I especially feel like crap.

    I am squeezed between home and school. Though it is supposedly the freaking recess week the past week, I have been going to school for projects and shit. The people at home wants me to paint the house (cause I suggested the house needed a fresh coat of paint... me and my big mouth). I would gladly help but if they keep teasing me (cause I'm supposedly the 'family-klutz' ) , I can't be bothered to do anything at home.

    School is also another pressure-zone. Datelines looming, presentations in a week, essays included, Chinese homework due...

    The main reason for my emo and angsty nicks is because of a certain group of 'friends' who to date haven't even wished moi a simple 'Happy Birthday'. I don't care if its via a flipping SMS (at least this is a simple acknowledgement)... but nothing? I know it sounds damn petty but this group of friends (two person in particular) is supposedly my closest friends. Screw it if you think I'm petty, I'm just pissed off.

    After all I have done for your birthdays, I get nought. Next year, I won't bother. After all we have gone through, you forgot me on my birthday. You too have been forgotten, not just on your birthdays but on all the other days as well.

    Screw you...
    This bitch had had enough.

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    Depressed. Discouraged. Disappointed.
    Bitched on: Saturday, September 22, 2007
    Time: 9/22/2007 01:47:00 PM

    Haiz...

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    Disappointed.
    Time: 9/22/2007 11:47:00 AM

    You have done a fantastic job avoiding me. I have not once seen you since your return.

    You have done a fantastic job keeping me out of your life. I have not heard anything about you 'cept from someone else. I don't even know you have another.

    And you have done a completely fantastic job with your dieting and probably disappearing into thin air. I won't even recognise you anymore.

    Congratulations.
    My dear friends. I will do the same unto you. You have been forgotten. Our memories erased.

    I wish I could do what Kate Winslet did to Jim Carrey in 'Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind'.

    Is it too much to ask for you to remember that day?

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    Discouraged.
    Bitched on: Friday, September 21, 2007
    Time: 9/21/2007 03:35:00 PM

    What am I doing?

    What did I do wrong?

    My crit went so horribly wrong.
    Like standing in front of the firing squad... alone...

    I feel so miserable...
    Shoot me once in the head and get it done and over with.

    Am I supposed to be here? I am doubting myself, me being in this course.

    Enough is enough. I have been beaten.

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    Depressed.
    Time: 9/21/2007 03:24:00 PM

    I need to trade in my old friends, they don't work anymore.
    "Someone who is always surrounded by a sea of friends, sometimes feels he
    is the loneliest of them all."

    Reality check, I have 500 over friends in my friendster account. That does not mean anything to me.

    I feel so lonely... So disappointed. So depressed lately.

    Anyone I can turn to? Anyone to be here physically to comfort me?

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    10 days and counting...
    Time: 9/21/2007 03:17:00 PM

    For one day you forgot, is one year of you I have forgotten.

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    The surprise is... I am going to be...
    Bitched on: Saturday, June 02, 2007
    Time: 6/02/2007 11:11:00 PM

    A proud owner of sunflowers.

    Just to prove a point to my Mum that I can be as much of a green thumb as she is (or if not better... haha...). Bought the seeds a few days ago and man, do they grow fast.

    Day 1; after planting the 'kuacis' (seeds) the day before.

    Day 2; they were beginning to look like 'tauges' (beansprouts).

    Day 4; they are beginning to look like weeds growing all over the place...

    This entry is lame so far, no?

    Well, its not the real surprise. I'm sure some of you could have guessed what the big surprise actually is. Been dropping hints in the last few entries.

    And some of you have even said it my taggy.

    Yes, I am going to be an uncle. My sister and bro-in-law are going to have a baby.

    An uncle... Can you believe it? Though it won't be the first time if you include all my cousins' kids (heck, I'm even a grand-uncle; see story here) but it would be my first immediate nephew or niece (the gender is not determined yet).

    Here 'she' or 'he' is. At 9 weeks old.

    I don't have to tell you where is what. Kinda obvious. And the little arms were moving when they were looking at the sonogram. Aiyoh... So cute.

    And they have already picked out names for the baby. If its a girl, she would be named after my bro-in-law's favourite character in this particular Malaysian movie (and its two sequels). And I'm kinda proud to have 'played a part' in naming the baby cause it was me who first introduced him to the movie. And if its a boy, they are going to name him something I was already thinking of naming my son... Argh... They 'stole' my son's name!!! Kidding lah.


    My sister is now 2 months pregnant and you still can't tell yet (from the way she looks). I could have guessed it at the beginning, more than a month ago. Even before the results were positive. My sister's vomiting and the food craving. It was so obvious. So its true. The cravings are real. Late night suppers plus loads and loads of snacks.


    Haiz... I am suddenly feeling like my 'biological clock' is also ticking away (muahaha...). I look at babies now and I will go so goo-goo-gaa-gaa (if there is such a word). Babies are sooooo cute... I want one too. (Gosh... I think I must have scared away some potential girlfriends... muahaha...)


    Baby steps, Shazi. Girlfriend first.

    Haiz... Plus, a friend's engagement recently didn't help to keep my 'biological clock' under check. Haha.. Speaking of which, Happy Engagement Dianah.


    All the best moving on to the next step in your life (while I'm still crawling like a baby... far far behind...).

    PS: I was actually stooping low in the last picture. Get that right, I am not shorter than Erman. Hehe...

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    Work.
    Bitched on: Saturday, May 19, 2007
    Time: 5/19/2007 05:16:00 PM

    Actually, the laptop has since been fixed like a few days ago. Just too plain lazy to update the blog.

    Yes. Lazy.

    And busy with work. Two more weeks before the job stint ends and I fly off to my Middle Eastern adventure.

    What exactly do I do for my work?
    Think Indiana Jones-y architect.

    My friends and I have to gather information from old text books and old plans of buildings of the 19th and 20th century Raffles Place in the school library.

    Some of the books are so old (circa 1800s) that a sneeze or a rough flip or fold of the page can cause the paper to 'atomize' into fragments... (I think my friends and I damaged a few books like above; unintentionally of course).

    And then we view plans and drawings of old buildings printed onto microfilms using some sort of projecting machines. This is an example of what we can get:

    Sounds dull but it pays well (standard researching NUS undergraduate's pay, you go figure that out). Muahahaha...

    But its actually fun to be holding and going through these pieces of history (brittle as they are). Plus, we learnt a lot about the area.
    Like there was the Robinson fire in November 1972 which killed 9 people.

    The old buildings of Raffles Place (then known as Commercial Square) were actually quite ahead of their times (post-Raffles history) with elevators and structures apt for the tropical climate.
    Plus, in the course of a century, a lot has changed around the square.

    1900s:
    1930s:
    1950s:The large white building in the foreground is the famed 'Little John'. If you're wondering that it looks familiar, you might have seen it before at the two main entrances of Raffles Place MRT station.

    That's how Singapore retains history I guess. We demolish something historical and build a replica.

    A lousy replica.

    That's Uniquely Singapore for you.

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    Shocker.
    Bitched on: Thursday, May 17, 2007
    Time: 5/17/2007 09:30:00 PM

    Another incredibly stupid mistake that will be forever etched in the history of American Idol.

    Why?! Melinda Doolittle? Why?!

    Grrr.... Its definitely a shocker... She was awesome. She should have been the one! It just shows that the show is becoming more and more nonsensical and unpredictable (since the Carrie Underwood and especially the Taylor Hicks era...)

    But not all shockers are bad. I know of one. But I have to keep it a secret for now.

    A good shocker. A happy one. An incredibly happy one.

    Let's just say probably four know of this secret (well, five if you include the doctor).

    Hmmm... Now that would have been a tip. Stay tuned to know what it is...

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    No pain, no gain...
    Bitched on: Friday, May 11, 2007
    Time: 5/11/2007 09:45:00 PM

    Stupid blogger.com is still not fixed yet. Why?!!

    So I'm just gonna blog. Dunno if this will get published... But I need to blog! I'm super bored. Blog-therapy.

    Been having a bout of low self esteem all of a sudden. I just loathe looking at myself in the mirror. Don't ask me why... I just do. I feel ugly...

    What a 21st-century-guy to do?

    Go for a facial.
    The first... in almost a year for me. I lost my way looking for the place in Orchard Road (I need more brain food... such a himbo).

    Decided to try something else other than the usual exfoliation and facial steam.
    Microdermabrasion (I think its spelt that way...).

    Painful as hell.
    Its like a cross between a vacuum cleaner and a sander. Whatever is scrapped off the skin is sucked away.

    Ouch.

    I have had a few surgeries in my life: my lower lip operation and my many (four to be exact) wisdom teeth extraction surgeries. Mind you, I was awake for all the surgeries (thank God for local anaesthesia). I heard every breaking teeth and the drill drilling into my mouth. I felt the knife slicing into my flesh and every prick of the needle stitching me up. But none could prepare me for microdermabrasion. I was digging my right pinkie into my chest to take away the pain from my face.

    Did it work? Was my self esteem restored after that?

    Maybe the complementary massage helped a bit.
    But my face was devoid of any facial expressions after that for the next few hours...

    It felt like I had taken botox.

    Haha... Another stupid entry. Muahaha...

    PS: I found a solution to the problem (something was wrong with the 'create post' page; the icons were all over the page and some links didn't work).
    Solution: Just add a 2 to the http://www.blogger.com/post-edit... to make it http://www2.blogger.com/post-edit... Refresh the page after that. Everything should be fine. Its inconvenient but it works. Been snooping around and I found out it only affects Singaporean bloggers using Singnet. I hope blogger.com will do something about this.

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    Emo Spidey.
    Bitched on: Thursday, May 03, 2007
    Time: 5/03/2007 11:45:00 PM


    Last paper over. Finally.

    Holiday-yoh!!! And what a good way to end the school term by watching the much awaited third instalment to my all-time-favouritest movie: Spiderman. Watched it with the super lame all-guys archi course mates of mine. So many stupid conversations and lame camera-whoring moments. It was such a blast!!! Haha...

    Just had to share some really lame shots with ya'all before I go into the preview proper cause it was such a hilarious day out.


    Hmmm... 5 guys. 8 cups of bandung. From 2 different drink stalls. This is what happens when you don't communicate well...


    Where better to waste time than at Toys-R-Us?



    Getting in the mood for the movie...



    Spidey and his Black alter-ego.



    A must-take shoot for all those who visit Toys-R-Us at Vivocity.



    Shit, I looked at the wrong camera. Hard to coordinate leh...


    Ok, so now to the movie.


    To those who thought Spiderman 2 was the best movie you have ever watched... ever (like myself), Spiderman 3 is a let-down.


    I won't go into details about the storyline (won't spoil it for those who have yet to catch it) but I think Spiderman 3 is too 'concentrated' with too many storylines: Dark Spidey, Sand villain guy (I have no idea what he is called), Venom, New Goblin and the Harry Osborn-Mary Jane-Peter Parker love triangle, plus another complicated love triangle (or rectangle): Mary Jane-Peter Parker-Gwen Stacy-Eddie Brock.


    Its way too much for a 2 hours long movie. Please... I need a pee break.

    And they try way too hard to make you tear... like seriously, towards the end, it was scene after scene of the characters crying (I just gave the ending away... its a sad ending... oops).


    And because of the complicated storyline, I feel that Venom (my favouritest villain of all time) didn't get as much screen time as he deserves. What? Less than half an hour of the movie? Too little, Sam Raimi.

    Its Venom! Spidey's greatest foe for God's sake! And the way he was killed off was so disappointing and rushed.


    But one of the good things about the movie is that it picks up very well from where they left off in Spidey 2. A very fine gel. Even had a few reference to Spidey 1 (the Sandman dude was the actual killer of Parker's uncle... so coincidental!). The special effects and fighting scenes are still as captivating but yet very similar to the previous two movies (fine by me). The acting has certainly improved (especially James Franco who plays Harry Osborn and Rosemary Harris who plays Aunt May).


    The movie had developed the three main characters (Peter, MJ and Harry) very well indeed. So much was explored. Especially MJ, more so than the first two movies; you don't feel like she's the weak damsel-in-distress again (except for the last part when she was held captive again) but you feel for her and understand more of her. Friendship, as well as love, is tested in the movie (very real, excluding the fact that they have super powers, but yeah... it happens in the real world too, "You killed my Dad, I will avenge his death; plus I will steal your girl while I'm at it....") That happens I guess...


    While Spidey 1 was about Parker struggling with his new found powers and Spidey 2 was about Parker struggling to get things straight in his life, Spidey 3 had it that Parker was doing so well with things in his life that it made him complacent and even (to a certain extent) arrogant. And then he loses it all again, and then you get the emo Spidey.

    Revenge. Revenge. Revenge.

    That's all the dark Spidey was all about (I couldn't help but to cheer this side of Spidey on).


    And I liked Spidey's new angst-y look! Haha... The awesome black spider-suit aside, Peter Parker had his emo hairdo and eyeliner and brooding stuff. Who said emo was out?


    But Tobey gained a few pounds I think. Had a bit of a double chin... So its about time Spidey retires.

    All good things must come to an end, I guess. Sadly, they didn't end it at Spidey 2.

    My Verdict: Just watch it. Just because.

    Blogger's Note: Pictures courtesy of Sony Movies

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    200th Entry
    Bitched on: Tuesday, April 24, 2007
    Time: 4/24/2007 11:58:00 PM

    This will be my official 200th entry. (Plus I will also be inviting my 15000th blog reader). Not bad for just over a year of blogging. So again, thanks.

    I just wanted to blog about what I'm going to be doing during the coming holidays (officially starts on the 3rd for me).

    I just had my second last paper a few hours ago. And my final paper will be next week (the 3rd of May); whilst most of my friends will be finishing their exams tomorrow (and those in NTU should be working part-time by now lah)... Dang...

    Fortunately, I've already secured a job with my lecturer. Decent pay and a lot of benefits... Lol.

    So my holiday break is going to be packed.

    Part-time researching work in May. And then the trips to Saudi Arabia and Dubai in June. And then Freshmen Orientation Camp in July. And finally back to school again in August.

    So exciting.

    So here's a clip from "Russel Peters 'live' in NYC" to celebrate.



    Enjoy. See parts 2 to 7 here.

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    Melted...
    Bitched on: Sunday, April 22, 2007
    Time: 4/22/2007 12:43:00 AM

    Ever since the 'Mouth Cancer' lady appeared on TV:
    its hard to believe what's real on commercials nowadays (she turned out to be a model with prosthetics). Of course, I'm not denying that smoking does cause cancer: mouth, lung, throat etc.
    But you know that commercial for the new promotion from a certain fast food joint? The one with nachos and cheese and big chunky chicken wrapped in a burrito pocket?
    Looks so good... Makes you drool even.
    So I simply had to have it.

    This is what I got instead when I had it delivered.

    A small soggy prata with really small portions of chicken and soggy nacho chips.

    How disappointing...

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    17 hours of sleep.
    Bitched on: Friday, April 06, 2007
    Time: 4/06/2007 11:57:00 AM

    Have you ever slept for more than 12 hours?

    And when you wake-up, you feel not at all refreshed but still sleepy? You feel and look like crap (that's for sure).

    Your breath stinks, enough to murder anyone within a 2 metre diameter.
    Your eyes are puffy and covered shut with shitloads of eye crust.
    Your body aches to the bone; any movement might break your brittle bones.
    Your every step feels like your brain is at the sole of your feet; extremely throbbing headache.
    And the time you take to finish off a pee deserves to be in the Guiness World of Records book.

    Muahaha...

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