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Waiting on the world to change...
Bitched on: Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Time: 10/23/2007 02:43:00 PM
It would have been easier to sit on the fence about this one. Though the religious side of me (I did not know I had this side of me too..) says its wrong, the other 'democratic' side of me says we should not discriminate or illegalised a group of people's choice(s). Time: 10/23/2007 02:43:00 PM
We should not judge. And don't judge me if I support them.
Right or wrong, its not just a gay thing, its about equality.
Labels: gay
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One year on... stronger.
Bitched on: Friday, September 14, 2007
Time: 9/14/2007 12:20:00 AM
Hope you guys realise that I didn't write the previous entry. Its written by the gay teacher who came out in his blog.Time: 9/14/2007 12:20:00 AM
He's a teacher. He's gay.
Somehow many people have problems using those two words in the same sentence.
Kinda lame cause I am so sure that some parents of students in the school must be worried that that 'chikopek' would be touching their kids now.
I am suddenly reminded of Mr Garrison (and his partner, Mr Slave) from my favourite adult-oriented cartoon, South Park. Mr Garrison, for the clueless, is the very gay 4th Grade teacher in the show (who later became Mrs Garrison and to date has become a lesbian; GAY again... lol.. that show cracks me up without fail).
Well, I don't see any need for alarm unless the gay teacher brings in a Mr Slave and shoves up small rodents in the latter's anal cavity (like what Mr Garrison did in one episode).
So ignorant. What's the big deal? I have tonnes of gay teachers.
Did they try to molest me? No.
Were they lousy teachers? No. In fact, they were the best ones around.
I applaud him for coming out. And I believe that his students should rally behind him in support (whether the ignorant parents, school or the ever-so-flawed and uptight education ministry like it or not).
Still on the topic of 'brave' people, I just saw TabTV and they were showing that 'sex video cheerleader' story. How lame changing the name from Tammi to Demi. Like duh.. We know who she is...
I revisited her blog and I am glad to know she's getting her life back to normal again (bought a new phone... I wouldn't be bragging about the new phone or its model if I were her. And certainly not the phone's features.. we know what she wants, better video quality perhaps?).
Kinda surprised that she hasn't totally hidden herself from the limelight or the face of the earth (if not at the very least the internet and blogosphere). I would have searched for a cavern to hibernate in for the rest of eternity if I were her.
Just proves to show that you have to move on and keep on living your life as per normal despite whatever shit happens. If you still let the shame, paranoia or the fear affect you, it would just mean that the terrorist have won. Wait... I wasn't talking about 911, or was I?
Labels: gay, gay teacher, Tammy NYP
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Well Said.
Bitched on: Thursday, September 13, 2007
Time: 9/13/2007 10:29:00 PM
I am Otto Fong. Time: 9/13/2007 10:29:00 PM
I have been teaching Science in Raffles Institution for the last eight years.
Being a teacher has been the most rewarding part of my professional life thus far. My students continue to amaze me daily with their wit, maturity, independent thinking and leadership. It is very fulfilling that I am a part of an institution that moulds the future generation of Singapore’s leaders.
Leaders are people who can rise above the tide of popular opinion, people who are guided by the conviction of rightness and justice and in being so guided, lead others towards that right path.
Recent events leading to my action.
Recent events have made me decide to write this open letter. In April this year, Minister Mentor Mr Lee Kuan Yew – one of the school’s greatest alumni – called homosexuality a “genetic variation”, questioning the validity of criminalising gay sex. In July, MP Baey Yam Keng expressed support for the repeal of Section 377A of the penal code (which criminalises gay sex acts). In August, Malaysian columnist and ordained pastor Oyoung Wenfeng released his inspiring new Mandarin book “Tong Gen Sheng”, encouraging gay men and women to come out of the closet.
A few evenings later, I attended a forum organised by People Like Us on gay teachers and students. A few brave twenty-something guys asked, “Why has there been so little guidance available to me as a gay teenager?” It was a question that I had asked myself often, growing up.
When I became a teacher in 1999, I looked back on the good guidance my own teachers gave me as a template, and tried to be a better teacher to my students. Besides teaching them Science, I spent considerable effort in imparting good social values: give up your seats to the needy, save the handicapped parking lot for those in wheelchairs and their caretakers, respect people regardless of profession or social status.
How hate is perpetuated.
Yet, in the eight years I have taught, I have done little for that small group of students who are gay. When the religious group Focus on the Family masqueraded as sex guidance counselors and gave a talk full of misinformation about homosexuality to our students, I was furious but kept my mouth shut.
When my niece returned from school saying, “Gays are disgusting!” I knew she learnt that hatred from a classmate, who had in turn absorbed that hatred from a parent. I knew that this hatred has been perpetrated for generations. But hatred grew out of fear, and hatred, as a line in a movie goes, “leads to the Dark Side.” This is the same environment of hatred I grew up in, as a gay teenager and student.
Until Section 377A* is repealed, there will be precious little the Ministry of Education can do to help these students. As a teacher, I am bound by my professional duty to follow the directives of my superiors.
While these events helped crystallize my decision to come out of the closet, my motivation remains deeply personal.
My family and I.
As far back as primary six, I have been aware of my attraction towards classmates of the same sex. For those who argued about nurturing factors of the family, my brother and sister grew up under the same parents and remained heterosexuals despite growing up with me in close proximity.
As a teenager, I was very quick to sense society’s aversion towards the ’sissies’ in my classes. I worked hard to distance myself from them. While I was successful in modifying my outward behavior, my sexual orientation remained unchanged. My denial gnawed at me, and the suppression of my true self resulted in self-destructive behavior during my overseas university years.
Fortunately, my American fraternity mates were supportive. I began to see a counselor who helped me accept myself for who and what I am.
Returning to Singapore, I came out to my family. My father, mother, brother and sister, out of love for their son and brother, walked the long road to acceptance. It was not easy for them, but they loved me before I came out, and they love me after. When I finally settled down with my longtime companion (we have been together for more than nine years), my entire family made sure my nieces and nephews included us in their lives. I loved my family too much to keep them in the dark, to deny them the chance to really know me. And they loved me too much to let some old prejudice tear our family apart.
I kept my sexual orientation a secret at work, and only a handful of my colleagues knew about me.
I don’t want to be a bonsai tree.
Not counting my childhood, I have spent more than twenty years in the professional closet. I am nearing my fourth decade on Earth. While I have had some successes in life, I am not content to be just average. As I have often told my students, “Why be average when you can be your best?”
Do you know what a bonsai tree is? A bonsai tree is an imitation of a real tree. It is kept in a small pot with limited nutrients, trimmed constantly to fit someone else’s whim. It looks like a real tree, except it can’t do many things a real tree can. It cannot provide shelter, it cannot find food on its own; its life and death are totally reliant on its owner. It is the plant version of the 3-inch Chinese bound foot for women: useless and painful.
Being in the closet, pretending to be straight, trimming our true selves to suit the whims and expectations of others, is just like being a human bonsai tree. By staying in the closet, we cannot even hope to be average, much less above and beyond average.
I felt that in order to reach my fullest potential as a useful human being, I must first fully accept myself, and face the world honestly. I have lived long enough to know that what I am is not a disease, an aberration or a mental illness.
Hate is not a religious value.
People have cited many ‘reasons’ for hating homosexuals, just as many people tried to justify their views that the Earth was flat, that the darker skinned should always be inferior, and that women should subjugate their lives to men. The teachings of the world’s great religious traditions offer many words of wisdom, but the interpretations of their human followers are not infallible. As Jesus said in his Sermon on the Mount (yes, a personal Bible was given to me by a great lady and I honored her by reading the book), we must love our neighbors as ourselves. It is a simple teaching, but one that’s rarely followed by those who seek to oppress people different from themselves. The path to enlightenment always faces stubborn resistance.
As Mahatma Gandhi said, “First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you…”
There are some people who are using homosexuality to advance their personal ambitions vis a vis religion. They claim that the homosexual ‘agenda’ is to make the whole world gay and threaten the stability of the family. Yet, let us examine the evidence: Denmark, Norway and Sweden, the first countries to legalise gay marriage, are more stable than ever – their population has not been converted by gays and their heterosexual divorce rates have even decreased since gays have been afforded legal rights. (William N. Eskridge, Jr and Darren R. Spedale, Oxford University Press, 2006).
The only agenda gay people have is to be able to live with the same rights and dignity as our heterosexual brothers and sisters. Our very vocal opponents are the ones actively preying on innocent people, recruiting them to their cause by spreading fear and misinformation. I hope thinking people will quickly see that it is this small group of vocal objectionists who have a more dangerous agenda, that their fight with gay people has nothing to do with what’s right or wrong, but is merely a litmus test of their political influence. For peace and prosperity to continue, Singapore must always uphold secularism, where each different segment of the population respects the beliefs and rights of the others.
Can a country with no natural resources afford to drive away its own citizens?
There is a very pragmatic reason that you should support the rights and dignity of gay Singaporeans: in this globally-competitive era, Singapore needs her gay sons and daughters, just as we need our Singaporean Muslims, Buddhists, Christians, Hindus, immigrants, men and women, old folks and young. Most importantly, we need those gay sons and daughters because those gay sons and daughters are Singaporean Muslims, Buddhists, Christians, Hindus, immigrants, men and women, old folks and young. Can a country without natural resources continue to flourish when it starts to drive away its own children?
As I said before, leaders are people who are guided by the conviction of rightness and justice and in being so guided, lead others towards that right path.
I am still a teacher. My main purpose and joy is to teach our youngest citizens, the same ones who will be the leaders of our nation tomorrow. But, I feel I am shortchanging both society and myself by staying in the closet. I must be true to myself. If my colleagues and students, both gay and straight, see that being true to one’s own self has great value, perhaps we can produce a new generation who is truly courageous. A new generation of young people who are proud to be themselves, no matter what difference they have from their classmates. Then I will have succeeded in providing them a better education than I had the opportunity to receive during my years in school.
So here’s what I am, and I am a friend in need at the moment.
So here it is: I, Otto Fong, have always been and always will be a gay man. When you ask about my spouse, I will say he is a man. I am as proud being gay as you are proud being straight. I am not, as some people like to label gays, a pedophile, a child molester, a pervert or sexual deviant. I did not choose to be gay, just like heterosexuals did not choose to be straight. I am not going to hell (not for being gay anyway).
I am not going back in the closet. When you ask me who I am, I will answer: I am a son, a brother, a long-time companion, an uncle, a teacher, a classmate, a colleague, a part of your community, a HDB dweller, a Singaporean. And I am also gay.
I would like to enjoy the respect that all other Singaporeans enjoy. I will not let the closet bind my feet, because I am made to sprint. I am not interested in being a bonsai tree, my DNA is programmed to climb higher. My heart aspires to reach my fullest potential as a human being.
I hope, dear friends and colleagues, that you look back and remember what I am, and see that I am not someone you fear. I am essentially the same person – flawed, imperfect, but brought up properly by two loving parents to lead a productive, beneficial and meaningful life. My friends and family love me for who I am, and I hope you can too. I come out to you with as much hope and trepidation as when I first come out to my mother and father. Your support and understanding are very important to me at this moment.
you, may you prosper in health and soul.
Yours sincerely,
Otto Fong
8th Sept 2007
Blogger's Note: He has removed this entry since.
Labels: gay, gay teacher
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Father's Day, the Hard Gay way.
Bitched on: Saturday, June 17, 2006
Time: 6/17/2006 11:52:00 PM
The entry title is so wrong....Time: 6/17/2006 11:52:00 PM
Don't think dirty here. Cause its really not.
For the benefit of those really suakoo (clueless), Hard Gay is a character in this Japanese entertainment show.
His full name is Razor Ramon Sumitani or Hard Gay (HG for short).
I have no idea if he is exactly gay but that is besides the point. Who cares.
Cause he is so funny.
Shaking and thrusting his pelvis (at any guy's face or butt area) ala Ricky Martin.
Pole dancing or gyrating suggestively around people (even kids are not spared)!
He is so sick (but funny sick..)
Oh my God, the Japanese are a really funny bunch.
I have always thought they were conservative until my friends showed me Hard Gay. They are so cool about it.
Say! Say! Say!!!
Damn funny.
Here are more episodes.
See the ones with English subtitles or the Bakafish ones.
Enjoy.
Hard-0 Gei!!
Hooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Homophobia
Bitched on: Wednesday, June 07, 2006
Time: 6/07/2006 03:17:00 PM
I love to blog-surf and I came across this blog by (I think should be) a homosexual (gay or lesbian, I can't tell). Time: 6/07/2006 03:17:00 PM
But the message is clear.
Homophobia is real. It's wrong. And can sometimes be fatal.
"I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn't have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love."
(Repost this if you believe homophobia is wrong.)
Well, I'm not forcing you to support this.
Neither am I asking you to accept it.
However, the least that you can do is tolerate this.
Another related entry: Pink Power!
Labels: gay
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Pink Power!
Bitched on: Thursday, April 20, 2006
Time: 4/20/2006 11:19:00 PM
Meet the latest celebrities in Singapore blogosphere.Time: 4/20/2006 11:19:00 PM
Colin and Kero.
Some of you might have heard of them, some of you might not.
For the benefit of those who haven't, they are the .. erm... couple with the alternate lifestyle.
They are gay.
They are homosexual.
And they are out of the closet.
(So way out of the closet, I think they locked the closet door and threw away the key and burnt the closet down...)
They posted pictures of them on their blog.
Large-sized Neoprint pictures of them hugging and stuff (nothing dirty here)...
I have to admit that it was disturbing and weird at first.
Reading how their (happy; cheerful) days went, their blindingly hot pink background for their blog, their terms of endearment for each other; darlin and dear, their pictures together...
I mean, if not for the pictures, you would have thought it was some heterosexual couple's blog.
(But that would not create any buzz, would it?)
So what's the buzz?
Well, just take a look at their tagboard.
It's like a mini chat room or a mini MSN.
Pro-gays and anti-gays debating as if its a er... debate... or something.
Constant messages pouring in like 'Gays are sick' to 'Kudos for comin out' to 'Are you out of your mind to be supporting them?'
My take on this?
Scroll up, see the 'Queer Friendly' ribbon thingy on the top left corner?
I'm not one of those Alpha males (or so they want to think they are) who threaten to kick these 'faggot's arses' or crucify these 'homos' for declaring their love on their blog.
Instead I sympathised with them (I didn't say empathised hor... cos that would be an entirely different story). Why?
Number One, like I have mentioned earlier, it is their blog.
I say, freedom of speech (ya sure, tell it to the people invovled in the Danish caricatures hoo-hah).
Number Two, though my religion (as many other countless religions) disapproves of homosexuality, I feel that no matter what, God loves us all, straight or gay.
So who are we to hate or condemn them?
(If you are picturing these two being tortured in hell by your God, then I'm sorry but I say, you have a very scary and unforgiving God)
Number Three (which is most important), they are in love. They are so 'into each other', they put most heterosexual couple I know to shame.
Kudos, for not keeping your love a secret.
Kudos, for declaring it out loud.
Kudos, for not being ashamed.
I stumbled onto their blog while reading two of my friends' blogs recently. A guy and a girl.
The guy was (as expected) condeming these two (quote; "..beat the shit out of them..") whereas the girl was (as expected) gushing on how romantic and sweet they are.
I can't quite put a finger on why guys are more likely to be antipathetic than gals.
Why does this stigma exist in the male population?
Why the homophobia? The prejudice?
Some guys generalise all gay guys as effeminate and even emasculated which is not true in some cases (like those shirtless guys viewing my profile in Friendster, they are far from the stereotypical 'sissies'...).
And there are some friends, who I feel are 'softer' and more effeminate than most guys, who boasts girlfriends (I'm not naming who... Gee...)
Some guys find gays irksome and sickening.
Why? Its not like they are trying to pick you up or converting you into one of them, is it?
I would have thought that this particular homophobic friend (the one from above) would have changed his mentality since a couple of our close friends came out of the closet about a year ago.
We were close to them. Yes.
We knew them so well. Yes (or so we thought... but that's a different story).
The bottomline is that we are still friends and things are no different now and then.
Did they make a move on us? No.
Did they cause us any bodily harm? No.
Did they (*gasp) molest us? Hell no.
Are they actually extraterrestrial lifeforms in disguise?
Are they mutants now?
Last time I checked, they still breathe oxygen and have not joined the X-Men.
So I say stop the prejudice and accept that some people have different sexual orientation than you.
I truly hope that this homophobic friend of mine is not serious about beating the shit out of them.
Because homophobia is not a light matter in some countries.
Instead, it can be a matter of life and death. You can pay with your life if you ever declared yourself gay in some Asian communities.
And it is sad how these people have to live in fear and in denial all their lives. Just look at 'Brokeback Mountain' (yes, the gay cowboy movie, which is to me, more than that).
The movie is about suppressing true love, creating pseudo-heterosexual-marriages that society selfishly expects and the occasional fatal backlash against the gay communities.
Something tells me that this will not be my last entry on homosexuals. And that I have just contributed to the already increasing readership for Colin and Kero's blog.
Before I sign off, I leave you some words from Kero (or izzit Colin?)...
"... u hate us because u fear us, u fear us because u dont understand us.. i believe most (of you) watched the X-men? the situation is somehow similar, mutants desperately trying to fit into the society despite the difference.. lols..."
Another related entry: Gay Magnet?
Labels: gay
2 comments
Gay Magnet?
Bitched on: Friday, January 06, 2006
Time: 1/06/2006 02:39:00 AM
A young well-dressed man winked as I walked pass him one day. I turned behind to see who he was winking at and there was no one.Time: 1/06/2006 02:39:00 AM
Just another day a similiar thing happened at the gym.
And another.. and another...
In KL, a few months ago, a Caucasian tourist tried to pick me up outside the toilet of a well-known tourist attraction.
That was the the scariest encounter so far. Haha...
So people, let me ask you all this question, 'Am I that GAY-looking?'
Apparently some of my friends think so.
Why? Is it because I am vain?
Is it because of my occasional so-called effeminate manners? It is because I enjoy shopping more than playing soccer? Or is it because I don't have a girlfriend?
Don't get me wrong, I don't find it insulting or offensive to be seen as gay. In actual fact I find it flattering. Because in my opinion, our homosexual males are usually better dressed, articulate, more gentlemanly and cultured than the heterosexual males. Yes, MOST straight males are boring, stupid, sexist and dress sloppy.
Ouch, truth hurts, huh guys?
Well, I come from a very interesting secondary school where almost half of the males friends I know there have recently come out of the closet. And they were the greatest friends you can ever ask for back then (they still are now!!).
So you can say I am not a homophobic and I don't shun gays. In fact, I did try to see if the grass was greener on the side... but it just wasn't my cup of tea.
Caught your attention already? Haha. I knew that it would. Well it was just one date (nothing physical or anything, furthermore I paid for the food and movie tickets for the dude. What a jackass right? And again... I emphasise, there was strictly NO touching!).
Why did I try it you might ask? Well I was curious and it was again flattering to be approached (haha... I am so shameless).
The first and the last of such dates. Heh. It was so weird...
I'll just stick to babes and boobs, thank you very much.
Back to the topic of being vain. Well, I don't see anything wrong about being vain. Like what Wee Sing, a good friend of mine (and fellow metrosexual) said after one of our gym session, 'There is nothing wrong about being vain, we are turning 21 and that's a huge step, a big difference. Cause that's the age when we are out there....'
Out there, looking around, playing the field. Attracting the female attention. Finding the Girl.
You should look good guys. Its for your own good. So hit the weights and start using hair conditioner.
Prompto.
Girls (and some guys) will give you a second look and a third and a fourth...
Your confidence will soar. You know you look good and you will feel good.
To those clueless men, here is a good online magazine website (recommended by another fellow vain metro, Arif), www.askmen.com...
Try it out.
Labels: gay
1 comments
