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    Shazi Ezan

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    Uncle Shazi.
    Bitched on: Saturday, January 12, 2008
    Time: 1/12/2008 01:43:00 PM

    I was wondering what my 'title' would be now.
    What my little niece would be calling me soon after she says her first words.

    Uncle? Pakcik? Cu? Cik Bongsu? Uncle Cu?
    ('Bongsu' is Malay for 'youngest child' and 'Pakcik' is Malay for 'uncle')

    Well, I have decided to be known as Uncle Izan since that was what my cousins' kids called me... but now they just call me Izan.

    Did I mention before that I have been 'demoted' a generation now? I feel like I am no longer amongst the generation of my cousins but instead I am in the one after that, that of their kids'.

    Firstly, cause I am the youngest of my cousins on my Dad's side and secondly, I am still schooling while all my other cousins, including the one who is just a year older than me, are married with at least three kids in tow...

    I hang around with their kids now... Haha... That's so pathetic.

    OK, OK, back to my niece.

    I have been relishing the role of an uncle now: cradling her, watching her bathe, playing with her and doting on my little princess.

    Sigh...

    I will never get it how people can abandon babies just like that. Especially newborns. Or worst how those monsters can take away their tiny little lives by smothering or going physical on the baby or... other horrendous barbaric acts...

    What wrong have they done?

    Don't even get me started on abortion... I am definitely a pro-li    fe supporter now.

    Again, I'm digressing.
    So back to this silly uncle of hers.

    I was helping my Mum to feed the crying baby one time and my Mum had asked me to test the temperature of the milk in the bottle that had been partially submerged in a mug of hot water.

    So she said in Malay, "Pour out a bit of the milk on the back of your hand and 'rasa'."
    Well, to those who don't understand Malay, 'rasa' has two meanings: it can mean 'feel' or it can also mean 'taste'.

    So you all must already now which of the two I did.
    Luckily it wasn't breast milk. Or else it would have been very... very weird...

    "Ermm... That's my uncle..."

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    Triple whammy..
    Bitched on: Thursday, December 27, 2007
    Time: 12/27/2007 08:48:00 AM

    It has been two years since my first entry.

    A couple of years is actually quite short if you think about it. I have friends who have been blogging for close to six years now.

    So anyway, last year for the one year anniversary I wrote a long-winded essay about blogging and what have you. This year I would just like to keep it short and sweet.

    The past year has been rather interesting, 'enlightening' would be a better word to describe it. I performed the umrah in June and when I came back, I started another blog: "Hebitch in the Middle East". It was really a spiritually enriching journey. So if you haven't caught it yet, read the blog here     (I updated the blog skin for a blog competition; *fingers crossed*).

    Another 'highlight' was my Dad's recent     heart attack. I know I sound like a broken record, but it has made me realize how 'real' losing someone close to you really is. Then there was the Virginia Tech shootings early this year and the death of the five dragon boaters around a month ago which really made me fathom that death is unpredictable and cruel.

    Blogging had helped in the mourning for many. After the deaths, many blogs mushroomed to pay respect to the families of the lost ones as well as to reminiscent the times spent with them. A friend of mine (who lost two of his 'brothers' in Cambodia) answered he couldn't blog well when I asked him why he hadn't written a farewell entry in Jeremy Goh's blog. "Can't be as poetic as the other entries," he said. I told him true poetry came from the heart; if what you feel is written down, not even all of Shakespeare's poems put together can hold a candle to your written piece.

    And I feel he had written the most sincere entry in the blog. Not lacking any ounce of hope or grief.

    Blogging is as much fun as it is therapeutic. Its really funny to know that friends who you have not heard from in a long time admitting they know almost everything that has been going on in your life from your blog. I feel violated. lol...

    I feel that this blog has become a huge part of my life now... very personal and 'me'. Its not merely an extension of myself anymore, in fact, it has somehow grown significantly to shape my character.

    How?
    There is this expectation from my friends for me to be equally as bitchy in person. So, not to disappoint them, I give them my 'best performance'. While I get my wit from F.R.I.E.N.D.S and my potty-mouth from South Park, the bitchiness is all me, baby...

    I realise I haven't been indulging in my loser-ish persona as much as I should. I get a certain kind of a kick sharing my loser moments; just to prove that I am not entirely a bitch. I think I am equally as much a loser as I am a bitch. Says so in my horoscope; I can be a control freak on one end and I can be the bully-able pushover on another.

    Sigh... Today was one such day miserable day for myself. First, it was the letter from the Army that gave me that horrible constipated feeling. No, it was not that kind of reservist letter asking me to come for training and stuff, but it was just as bad. It was a letter 'welcoming' me to my new unit. Shit, now I have a unit. Dammit. One step closer to doing the actual reservist...

    Then my results were out. Shit, man. I thought I was sure to get As for a couple of my modules but alas, it did not happen (some people just make it look so easy). And I am really upset cause I know I had really put in a lot of effort into those subjects... I worked my ass off okay? Sad... Oh, even Chinese. I am so pissed off, what happened to my A?

    Sigh, thought that the shopping 'binge' could cheer me up just now but the jacket I was eyeing from ZARA since a month ago was no longer available in the colour and size that I wanted. So I had to settle for the jacket in a different colour but... its slowly beginning to grow on me.

    Acceptance. There are some things you just have to accept.
    I am a loser.

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    I'm not a baby.
    Bitched on: Sunday, October 07, 2007
    Time: 10/07/2007 12:39:00 PM

    Dear Shop Uncle,

    For years I have been buying groceries from your shop. And for years you have seen me grow up. So imagine my surprise when you asked me for my identification yesterday when I was buying a pack of cigarettes for my father.

    Clearly, I am flattered. So thanks for making my day.

    Sincerely Shazi

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    Melted...
    Bitched on: Sunday, April 22, 2007
    Time: 4/22/2007 12:43:00 AM

    Ever since the 'Mouth Cancer' lady appeared on TV:
    its hard to believe what's real on commercials nowadays (she turned out to be a model with prosthetics). Of course, I'm not denying that smoking does cause cancer: mouth, lung, throat etc.
    But you know that commercial for the new promotion from a certain fast food joint? The one with nachos and cheese and big chunky chicken wrapped in a burrito pocket?
    Looks so good... Makes you drool even.
    So I simply had to have it.

    This is what I got instead when I had it delivered.

    A small soggy prata with really small portions of chicken and soggy nacho chips.

    How disappointing...

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    Babeling...
    Bitched on: Sunday, April 08, 2007
    Time: 4/08/2007 11:37:00 AM

    Yesterday's rain was so horrible!

    The thunder yesterday was non-stop and loud!!! The wind was howling like mad too. And I kinda forgot to close the kitchen windows until it was almost too late. Half the kitchen was wet.

    And flashes of lightning struck uber close to my house. So close, it caused a black-out.

    I was momentarily stunned in the pitch-black house. My first instinct was to run out of the house screaming. But then I decided to do something more sensible and look for the torchlight. When I couldn't find the torch after a couple of minutes, I reconsidered running out of the house screaming again.

    But then again, I remembered about the main switch that you have to turn on whenever there's a blackout. So I felt my way around to find the switch to turn it on.

    Haha... I'm such a wimp.

    Anyway, my parents got into an accident yesterday in JB. Nothing bad, thank God. But the car's front bottom part was smashed in. Some pail fell from the back of some stupid trailer and my dad's car behind that stupid trailer drove over the pail. It sounded like some small stupid accident but it was enough to smash in the front of the car.

    The Malaysian trailer was speeding by the way. Jackass.
    People like this should be ban from driving forever. Stupid jackass.

    Well, it was an expansive grocery trip to Malaysia in the end (to get the car fixed).

    Anyway, I rented 'Babel', starring Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchett. I heard it was supposed to be good but, man, was I disappointed. Disappointed.

    The movie seemingly solidified the stereotypes of the different nationalities. Moroccan officials are corrupt. Americans are jackasses who think that the whole world are against them. Mexicans are treated badly by the Americans, plus they live in smelly dusty slums. And Japanese schoolgirls are horny, very horny.

    And Babel has nude scenes. A lot. And some Sharon Stone's Basic Instinct moments too. Well, its surprising cause I rented the DVD from VideoEzy. Yes, VideoEzy. Shouldn't all this be censored? I'm not complaining, I'm just concerned that this kind of DVDs might get into the wrong hands, children's. It has full frontal for God's sake. Well, the only warning was this really small sticker showing Mature 18. Anyway, the movie sucked, a lot of babeling.

    Bloggers Note: Happy Easter to all my Christian friends and readers. I got this new episode of South Park for all to enjoy.


    If you can't watch the video, click here.

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    Eventful week
    Bitched on: Friday, March 30, 2007
    Time: 3/30/2007 01:10:00 AM

    What a horrible week it has been! So busy! And I have lost my temper so many times that people are actually 'scared' of that side of me. Well, that's another story (I'll blog about it some other time).

    And its not over yet, while its one project down, the mother of all submission is in less than a week.

    So busy that I can't sit down to blog much.

    But here's something really funny I wanted to share.
    You know how warm the past nights have been?
    Well, last night was no exception. So I had chosen not to use the blanket.

    It grew colder through the night, I guess.

    I woke up to find myself wrapped around in (of all things!) my curtain. I had actually pulled down one side of the curtains beside my bed! 'Sleeping me' is so resourceful!

    Lol... I put it back up before anyone (especially my mum) found out. She would have definitely flipped.

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    *slaps forehead*
    Bitched on: Sunday, March 11, 2007
    Time: 3/11/2007 12:07:00 AM

    It was one of those days when my friends and I were in our studio doing our own things when our studio 'master', Dr Erwin, suddenly popped in.

    Erwin: How's the studio doing?

    Us: Ermm... (...silence...)... Fine...

    Erwin: Will I expect a surprise tomorrow?
    (the next day was our studio session cum an intensively stressful 'show-and-tell')

    Us: Ermm... (unsure... all looking around)

    Me: Yes sir... You will be surprised. You will be blown off.

    Erwin: (gives me a strange look before walking off to the next studio)

    Me: (muttering to myself) shit... Blown AWAY. Blown AWAY.

    Dammit... *slaps forehead*
    Note to self: The next time I want to 'suck-up', it shouldn't be that literal.

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    Heroes!!!
    Bitched on: Saturday, March 10, 2007
    Time: 3/10/2007 11:20:00 PM

    I am officially a Hero too!!!


    I found this at the underground linkway from HarbourFront MRT station to Vivocity.
    Of course I couldn't resist striking a pose beside the characters from my favourite show in the world!!!
    Hmmm... I wonder what my powers would be... Ultimate cam-whoring abilities?
    I had actually stopped the people traffic along the narrow linkway. lol...
    It was almost a 'pile-up' lah...
    But its all worth it.
    PS: Episode 17 is sooooo sad...

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    Singledoom...
    Bitched on: Thursday, February 22, 2007
    Time: 2/22/2007 01:27:00 AM

    So this is the entry I have been dying to post. My 'date' profile.

    Muahaha...

    My friends have been wondering why I'm still single, well, honestly, I don't have a clue too. Maybe I'm too picky. Or maybe I have low self esteem, fearful of rejection. My female friends told me I have a fear of commitment. Whatever it is, I'm not gay. Period.

    Well, I think I'm not bad on the looks department (I hear a lot of people barfing onto their laps at this very moment) but yeah, I'm gonna be shameless for once (for once?) and blog this, I notice that I do get the attention of some ladies (and men...) whenever I walk into a room. Just the other day at Changi beach, I noticed a group of teenage minahs 'gawking' (haha... couldn't stop myself from using the word) at me. Wait, did I just say Changi? Might be trannies for all I know...

    But that's the problem, I attract the wrong kind of girls. Minahs, teenagers or simply fuglies... Or am I just being fussy?

    First of all, minahs. They are a major turn-off for me. I'm not saying all Malay girls are minahs. Actually, I define minahs as those whose English cannot make it, religion cannot make it and face lagi cannot make it (hence the super thick make-up and revealing clothes)... I like girls who are decent, well educated (fluent English a must) and pleasant-looking.

    I would be lying if I say looks don't matter. But neither am I so shallow as to say she has to be devilishly hot. Pleasant-looking. That's the keyword here, people.

    Currently I have this major major crush on this girl in my course (ALL my other course mates know this, except for her... I hope). She is super hot (I think she is just perfect... *gush*)! And I'm a complete grinning idiot whenever I'm around her. Now, I'm trying a new tactic, I would 'ignore' her when I'm around her (but she doesn't even know I exist... haiz...). Anyway, all the people in my course from studio 1 to 9 know about this supposedly secret crush. And a friend of mine even voice recorded me gushing about her (without me knowing of course) and my friends are 'blackmailing' me with it. In a nutshell, drop-dead-gorgeous girls are very intimidating.

    In fact, I would honestly say that I would rank character above looks. Naturally bubbly girls are a major turn-on for me. A plain girl with super personality; funny, chatty and charming (not to be confused with flirtatious) would win hands down against a gorgeous but cold bitch.

    Another shortcoming of mine (other than hot girls can scare me) is that I look younger than my age (I'm 22 this year; yet I can pass off as 17!). Being shorter than the average guy also sucks too. Grrr.... Damn this youthful face. Muahaha...

    That's why age also plays a part (though not knowingly). I tend to like older girls or girls my age (never younger girls). Dependant and clingy girls are a definite no-no. And young girls equate 'need for pampering' and that sucks...

    I'm not saying that I won't pamper my girlfriend, in fact I would gladly spend on her per se. That said though, I would need a girl who knows how to curb my spending ways (instead of worsening it on her).

    Well, other than being a spendthrift, other negative qualities of mine include being headstrong (another word for stubborn), cheeky and crude (sexual innuendos are my expertise), shameless (*camera whore alert*), bitchy (they don't call me he-bitch for no reason) and very dumb (yes, gullible himbo, that's me... I have plenty of loser moments too).

    Negative qualities aside, I think I'm quite a laid back guy, who has a lot of hobbies (but no time to do any of them). I think I'm funny and spontaneous. I'm also a faithful and dependable friend who you can always count on. I might look arrogant at first but I'm actually kinda goofy and loser-y. So, ladies, drop me a message if you're interested.

    Kidding lah...
    I'm not that desperate. Lol...

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    So Overated.
    Bitched on: Wednesday, February 14, 2007
    Time: 2/14/2007 11:43:00 PM

    I hate Valentine's Day.

    That's all.

    Update: I happened to read the Straits Time Life section (I would just read the comics strips usually...) about how young singles are now not ashamed of putting their profiles up publicly to be match made in matchmaking agencies and stuff.

    So, being the desperado that I am, I will put up a profile of myself on this blog when I have the time. Just watch this space. :)

    Related Entry: Singledoom

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    I lost my card again!!!
    Bitched on: Tuesday, January 09, 2007
    Time: 1/09/2007 02:36:00 PM

    This time I've lost my cashcard...

    $15 down the drain AGAIN.

    I think there's a Bermuda Triangle in my bermuda pants' pocket.

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    Totally Useless Facts.
    Bitched on: Monday, January 08, 2007
    Time: 1/08/2007 11:06:00 PM

    I was gyming the other day and there were two unbelievably geekish guys there as well. One was scrawny and the other was simply put, obese. Don't get me wrong, I welcome diversity to the gym but if you hog the weights and chat incessantly about everything under the sun instead of using the weights you hog, then I have a problem with you.

    They were university students I think, NUS maybe. Either Science or Arts. They looked as geekish as Science students and were as noisy as Arts student; no offence... muahahah.

    So, anyway, they had probably irritated a lot of people to the extent that no one (and this was obvious) was exercising at their corner. It was like a ring of emptiness had formed around them (despite the otherwise crowded gym).

    And seriously, I felt like throwing a couple of dumb-bells at their dumb heads.

    Chat somewhere else won't you? And stop hogging the weights. Grrr...

    They were talking about the Iraqi war, Israel occupation, WWII, Bush and a whole lot of other political and war-related topics like they were some kind of analysts. And that was damn irritating!!! Bloody asses. And one of the them - the fat one - liked to end whatever he was saying with, "its so funny."

    Like, "The Palestinians were throwing stones and the Israel soldiers retaliated with tanks and gunfire; that's so funny," or "The American casualty in Iraq is more than the casualty in the 911 attacks, it's so funny," or "They fired home-made bombs and shouted 'Allahu Akbar', and that's funny."

    Bloody insensitive imbeciles...

    Such an embarrassment to all of NUS.
    *spit* puii...

    If you want to be as irritating as them, try all this irritating and completely useless facts (courtesy of the washroom at Settler's Cafe). Sure to drive anyone within earshot to feel like strangling your smart-assed neck.
    • People generally read 25% slower from a computer screen compared to paper.
    • All babies are colour blind when they are born.
    • Hair is made from the same substance as fingernails.
    • People with darker skin will not wrinkle as much as people with lighter skin.
    • Monopoly is the best-selling board game in the world.
    • A snail can sleep for 3 days.
    • Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia is the fear of long words.
    • The continents names all end with the same letter with which they start.
    • The average human eats 8 spiders in their lifetime at night.
    • Crocodiles and alligators are surprisingly fast on land. Although they are rapid, they are not agile; so if you ever find yourself being chased by one, run in a zigzag line.
    • A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top.
    • Celery has negative calories. It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery has in it to begin with.
    • 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

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    The streak of bad luck continues...
    Time: 1/08/2007 11:29:00 AM

    Argh!!!!!!!

    I'm in Dr Erwin's studio!!!!!

    I am so going to die...

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    Unluckiest Day
    Bitched on: Saturday, January 06, 2007
    Time: 1/06/2007 10:05:00 PM

    If you have been enjoying reading all my loser moments, boy, do I have a treat for you. Try the whole day of bad luck.

    Just at the stroke of midnight, everything went downhill from there.

    Grrr....

    I had to stay up to finish painting my (half-finished... and half-f*cked) paintings for watercolour class (yes... I started school a week earlier to go for these damn classes). It was around 4am when I suddenly felt woozy and decided to call it a night. Plus I had to wake up at 7am again to go for school.

    So I went to the tap-cum-shower to wash my hands, elbows, knees and shin (don't ask me how the paint got there). Since the shower was brand new and it was just installed that morning, naturally (for me at least) I didn't know how to turn the tap on (nor the shower). So after a lot of turning and pressing the tap, water finally came out. Not from the tap that I had hoped for but instead it was from the shower above.

    I had to sleep with half my body drenched (cause I was too lazy to change out of the wet clothes).

    And when I woke up the next day, the same thing happened when I was dressed, with hair gelled-up and about to leave the house. It was to wash the paint on my toe this time (again don't ask me how the paint got there). And since I have the memory of a goldfish, I was 'attacked' from above again.

    I had to change out of my wet T-shirt after that.

    It didn't stop there for my wardrobe malfunction. My slipper broke. The strap that was holding my feet to the slipper (or the other way round... I dunno...) snapped. And I was halfway to the bus stop by then. And I didn't even trip or anything; it just snapped! And I had to drag my left foot back home. And going down a flight of steps was really tricky! It took me 10 freaking minutes to get back when it usually takes me less than a minute. It was so embarrassing and I was so late for school!

    And after school, I realised I had lost my EZ -link card (and I just had the card 'topped' up the day earlier... $15 down the drain...). It was only after I had ran after the bus, boarded the bus, rummaged around the stuff in my bag, that I realised it was missing, and then realising I had zero coins, no way to pay the fare whatsoever, that I alighted from the bus.

    I then had to change my notes for coins with some of the passengers on the next bus I took. I was too preoccupied with getting coins that I didn't even realise I took the wrong bus!!! Argh!!!!

    So I alighted at this bus stop in the middle of nowhere. Exchanged notes for coins again with this lone dude at the bus stop (thank God, there was someone). Took the next bus I was sure would reach my destination (all this time my friends calling me to ask me where the bloody hell I was).

    I didn't have enough coins so I underpaid the fare (actually, I didn't know... *act innocent*) and guess who had to board the bus? The bus conductor!!! She gave me a whole minute of lecturing that university students have to pay adult fare. It was so embarrassing!!!

    I met my friends finally. And they were saying how 'interesting' my life was. And I added that with my luck that day, I won't be surprised if I get knocked down by a car. So we were careful to get me as far away from the roads as possible.

    We tried to watch a movie. The queue was too long. Plus, we couldn't agree to what movie to watch.

    Walked all the way from Orchard to Dhoby Ghaut for nothing. Not really nothing cause we went to one of those gaming shops (not computer games but board games). Its really awesome. You should try going to one. Really fun. Mind cafe... or Settler's Cafe... Though I prefer the later - because of the friendlier staff.

    They tried to overcharge us at Mind Cafe then but I kicked up a fuss. Not really a fuss. I just talked and talked. I would have been a great lawyer. Or a great miser...

    The day of bad luck didn't end there. My friends and I shared a cab back. As the only guy, I was the last to drop off. And as luck would have it, I didn't have enough cash to pay. So I dropped off ten blocks (or 2 whole bus stops) away from my house. I had to drag my tired body (and soul) back home...

    And it was past midnight by the time I got home. Luckily.

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    Get a life.
    Bitched on: Wednesday, December 20, 2006
    Time: 12/20/2006 02:42:00 PM

    Feeling sick today.
    Sigh... damn weather.
    Finally saw the sun today. It was raining cats and dogs (and pigs and cows and chickens and the entire animal kingdom) yesterday.

    It was probably the 2nd most rainiest day in Singapore (ever recorded!!). I saw in the news (fine... I happened to watch it just at the moment I turned on the TV) that it rained more yesterday than the average rainfall for the month of December last year!!!

    Unbelievable...

    Or maybe I got the facts all wrong. I wasn't really paying attention (its a wonder how I do well in school...).

    Many areas in Singapore were flooded (up to waist deep even).
    Something is seriously screwed up with the weather nowadays.

    Plus I was nearly killed by the flood yesterday on my way to gym!!! (gasp!!!)

    Ermm... Actually I was trying to avoid an ankle-deep puddle by the side a T-junction. Instead of just stepping of the kerb (where the puddle was), I tried jumping over the puddle. And this car which was turning out from the right took too small a turn, nearly knocking me down in the process. Ass...

    I can just imagine today's headlines if that happened:
    Boy killed by flood
    Boy killed avoiding puddle.

    Here's how bad the floods are at some places. This one is at Thompson Road (I think) where my mum likes to shop for her potted flowers (which will always end up flowerless and eventually 'leaveless' for sure...)


    Plus, its so damn cold. I now walk around my house wearing socks (damn icy marble floor!!).

    Last words: Unemployed and bored during the holidays.
    My life sucks...
    So, what a guy like me to do to get a life?

    Simple, get a second life.
    I have been playing this game called     Second Life.
    You all should try it.

    I got my sisters addicted to it.
    My first sis is now a lesbian erotic dancer and my second sis is a shopaholic 'escort'.
    As for me, I'm a 1.9metre-tall-blonde-struggling-reporter (search for me- Ezan Nakamura). You can change your appearance to anything you want. You can wear anything you want. You can choose to work or if you are like my sisters, flirt to get money (easier for girls to play this game).

    You can do anything you want (even fly!!!). Its really cool.
    So look for me and I can take you shopping for clothes (some are free, most are not) and clubbing. Or visit zoos and museums. Strip clubs and nudist beach (real graphic mature stuff).

    Best online game since erm... I don't really play online games...

    Plus,     its free. Or you can also choose to pay (via credit cards) to get a premium account which lets you start with L$1000 and subsequently you get more money monthly.

    Which is not really necessary, cause if 'you' have tops with plunging necklines and huge knockers (like my sisters' characters), 'men' will pay for everything.

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    Stupid Haze.
    Bitched on: Saturday, November 04, 2006
    Time: 11/04/2006 12:21:00 AM

    Question: What do you get when you put the haze, lack of sleep and 2-months-old disposable contact lenses together?

    Answer: Itchy eyes.

    So I was twitching my eye in the cab (without physically scratching my eyeball out), when the cab driver, looking at the rear view mirror, thought I was winking and making eyes at him...

    Haha...

    And he looked pissed off.

    Aiyoh... Come on lah, Uncle. I have better taste.

    Hahahaha...

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    Bus 'Uncle'
    Bitched on: Thursday, June 08, 2006
    Time: 6/08/2006 07:56:00 PM

    Sigh...
    My 'loser' streak doesn't look like its going to go away anytime soon.
    I sprained my wrist bad... Very bad.
    Feels like its broken. I can hear bones cracking everytime I rotate my wrist...

    But I have yet to see the doctor.
    Well, I believe in self-healing. Kinda like Wolverine... Lol..
    You know your body best. Doctors are the last resort.

    So... what's new?
    Well, a friend showed me this video from Hong Kong. (I have no idea how he gets his hands on this kind of videos, he has nothing better to do, izzit? Kidding lah brudder... Haha)

    About this guy from Hong Kong who verbally insulted another passenger seated behind him on the bus he was on.
    The unfortunate guy I gathered from the video had tapped on the uncouth babarian's shoulder.

    That sparked a long list of verbal abuse from the potty-mouth.

    And the poor soul had to sit there bearing all the insult. Such a wimp... but admirable nevertheless.
    I can't decide if he is more scared-shit or patient...

    An ugly example of Asian elderly mentality (in Hong Kong or Singapore, they are still the same...)

    Just because they are old, they think they are always right.
    Its all about 'saving face' (not being embarrased).
    But ironically, that was the last thing the babarian did in the end.
    So embarrasing...
    And he had the cheek to 'shake hands' with the wimp...

    Please lah...
    Just because you are old, doesn't mean you are always right.
    And just because you have lived for more years than us youths, doesn't mean you can get away with insulting our mothers etc...
    What an ass.

    Argh... Just watching the video makes my blood boil.

    To the bus 'uncle' and other bus 'uncles' worldwide, please retire gracefully but alone and deserted in an old folks' home, deprived of any physical contact with the outside world...

    And to the wimp, get some balls lah...

    Click here to see the video.

    Latest Update:
    Coincidentally on the day I wrote this entry, the New Paper published the story about the 'uncle',

    "His expletive-ridden tirade on a Hong Kong bus irked millions around the world after another passenger uploaded his camera-phone footage of it onto the Internet.

    But three men may have taken their anger at the now infamous "Bus Uncle" too far. He was beaten viciously in a Hong Kong restaurant yesterday.

    Mr Roger Chan, 50, was attacked and beaten by three masked men in front of horrified diners and staff at the western restaurant where he started work on Monday..." - New Paper
    Serve the babarian right!!!
    What goes around comes around.
    But it is a bit cruel.
    I do feel a small pang of pity... Just a small one.
    Sure he deserves a retaliation, but not a physical one.

    Turns out the wimp was just trying to shush the babarian for talking too loudly on his phone.

    And after launching into a stream of Cantonese vulgarities (which, weirdly for me, I understood some of it) and having that publicly shown on the web, he was offered a job at a restaurant (where he was later attacked).

    Talk about 'strategic' move on the restaurant's part!!!
    Nothing like a free flow of expletives to go with your family dinner.

    Go figure.

    And now he is planning to bank on his fame by working with American Idol 'reject' William Hung to star in a musical version of the incident!!!

    Nothing says 'Asian pride' like two of the most idiotic and shameful Asian faces in a musical together...

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    Welcome to my Life.
    Bitched on: Saturday, June 03, 2006
    Time: 6/03/2006 08:13:00 PM

    Long time no blog!!!
    A couple of my friends have been bugging me, WHY?
    Did I die?
    Have I started showering again? (well yes, the toilet is fixed..)

    Well, I have been compiling all my loser short stories.
    Ya rite...

    I have so many of them...
    I should be a writer, no?
    Haha...

    But I re-read some of my blog entries and I realised something, what happened to all my intelligent entries?

    I have none!

    My entries are so 'duh'.

    Its not 'blah' but its definitely 'duh'.
    Its so incredibly pointless.

    So whine-y...
    So loser-ish (especially the previous one).

    Okok, nuf about that.
    Here's to all who enjoy a good laugh.
    My life the past week.


    ~Dye Over and Over Again...~

    To those who don't already know I tried to DIY (do-it-yourself) dye my hair...

    My natural hair colour is black.
    And it was brown a month back.
    Now it was time to re-dye my faded hair colour.
    (Because I was trying to save money), I tried DIY (so much cheaper...)

    Well, I decided to be adventurous and himbotic...
    And go (gasp) blonde....

    Yes, ladies and gentleman, blonde...

    Following an advice from this friend of mine, I dyed my eyebrows too...

    Well, to cut the story short, I ended up with flaming ORANGE hair.
    To make matters worst, my eyebrows became bright orange!

    I looked like one of those ginger kids (redheads with freakles) but it was all ORANGE.

    I panicked. My parents flipped.
    My sisters teased me.

    I was like, OH MY GOD. I looked like a freak...

    So clever me, dyed my hair again with the same dye (I had some left, my hair is short mah...).

    And I got my blonde.
    But I looked so weird...

    I was so embarassed to leave my house!

    Well, in the end, I bought black dye (with my mum's help) to tone down the hair colour.

    I just left the dye on for 5 minutes before washing it off.
    But it was too late to save any inch of my brown-ness.

    Hair colour now, Jet-Black...
    sigh...
    Back to square one.


    ~LOST~

    I have been living in the Jurong West area all my life and I am very ashamed to say that I got lost in my own turf!

    Sigh...

    21 years in Jurong West, and still I was like a lost sheep when all I wanted to do was go to Jurong Point!

    It was only a few stops away from my house but still I managed to find my stupid self at Jurong Port Road!
    Yes! Jurong Port Road!!!
    Where all the factories are!!!! Where Jurong Island is (I think?)!!!

    Oh my God. How stupid can one be?
    I kept telling me myself that the bus was taking a long long detour to the shopping centre (until I called my friend, only then did I realise that I was LOST)

    I panicked, cause the road was ONE WAY where I alighted!
    How was I suppose to take the bus on the other side of the road?

    To cut long story short, I took 1.5 hour to go to the shopping centre when it could have taken me just 15 minutes...

    So dumb...

    Note to self: 98 doesn't go to Jurong Point... duh...


    ~Life is Short...~

    Finally, a serious blog.
    Nah, not really...

    Far from it.

    It took me a flying insect to realise how short my life is.

    I was planning to have an egg (my favourite sunny side up) for my dinner, so I had the oil heated in the frying pan.

    When this flying insect kamikaze-ed into the oil...

    sizzle... (*smoke)

    I will never forget the sound... or the smell for that matter...

    I lost my appetite that night (who wouldn't?)

    But it got me thinking, poor poor insect...

    I mean it only has a lifespan of what? 1 week?
    And instead of dying naturally, it had to die the worst death imaginable...

    Life is short, I say.
    And I have always imagined myself 50 years from now, old, retired and wrinkled.
    But now, who am I suppose to predict that?

    Who knows... I might get knock down by a car the next day.

    So I'm living my life to the fullest now...
    (not now... maybe later... so lazy lah...)

    Try everything new once.
    Fancy a crispy deep fried insect anyone?

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    Life Under Construction...
    Bitched on: Thursday, May 25, 2006
    Time: 5/25/2006 12:32:00 AM

    My toilet is under renovation.

    And that is something for me to fret about.

    Yes... I have another toilet/shower in the kitchen.
    But... there is no hot water!!!

    Argh!!!!!!!!!!
    Showers to me (I am the super clean freak) are blardy important.
    I need to shower at least three times a day (TMI; Too Much Information, I know).
    But without hot water how can I?
    No..........

    And also, I don't really consider using a pail and the scoop , showering...
    So 'old school'...
    Like kampung liddat...

    Furthermore, the whole family now has to function using ONE toilet cum shower.

    Its damn annoying to queue when you really have to go (I don't know how you, ladies, do it in public toilets...)

    Not only that, the kitchen's toilet is so surprisingly tiny (I have never showered in there till now).

    To top it off, it also happens to be the laundry room AND store for all my mum's cleaning equipments.
    So washing your face when there is the mop in the same sink is kinda tricky, I tell you.

    Early morning showers are really unpleasant.
    Freezing cold...

    So... I relive the good ol' Army days again.
    Just skip the morning showers...
    (Again, TMI...)

    So I apologise if I have been smelling bad lately.
    I promise to put on tonnes of cologne, OK?

    At least until my toilet has been renovated.

    Oh... Here's another embarassing thing that happened in my ever-so-loser life...

    A loser moment.

    I just have to share this.

    I was in gym today and I wanted to try one of those exercise with those huge dumbells and the bench.
    Something like this;









    I dunno why but the weight must have been so freaking heavy that I was flung back like this;














    Not once but twice cos stupid me wanted to try it again (never-say-die-crap).


    Twice!!! My head hitting really hard on the (luckily) carpeted floor the second time.

    My legs flailing in the air, straight up into the air. Like I'm doing a headstand.

    Don't ask me how the hell it could happen. I just don't know. It did!!!

    It was quite dangerous, come to think of it now, cos the weights might just have fallen on my face and broken my jaw...

    So embarassing... All those in the gym eyeing me like there was something wrong with me....

    I would think likewise too if I saw someone doing that not once but twice!!!!!!!

    Argh!!!!!! Paise leh...

    Such a loser...

    Now I have a migraine (seriously, I have a bump) and also I stink...

    I need a shower bad...

    God dammit...

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