Favourite Photos
Icon: LJ/sixthmile
Credits
Layout: tuesdaynight
Inspiration: DayBefore!Misery
Best viewed: Mozilla Firefox.
Resolution: 1280X800.
Uniquely Sino-pore Part 1
Bitched on: Friday, March 31, 2006
Time: 3/31/2006 06:23:00 PM
I was on the cab and I met a racist cab-driver. Time: 3/31/2006 06:23:00 PM
What's new?
Well, this is Singapore and racism doesn't just slap you in the face.
Everyone is discreet, everyone I know, that is.
Racism is all around but no one says it straight to your face.
Period.
What did this particular Chinese driver say to me?
Well, initially the conversation was fantastic, about the Army (he was slamming it too) and my ORD.
Then, it soured...
We saw an Indian lady flagging down a cab.
He pointed her out to me.
He told me he will never take her. Why?
He would never take cats, dogs, durians and Indians.
I slumped into my seat.
I am part-Indian.
I was horrified.
I felt like he dug deep into my heart took it out and smashed it. My thoughts wandered to my Indian friends. I pitied them, to encounter people like him. What did they do wrong?
Well, according to the cab driver, they are noisy, complain a lot and finally, they take out the money too slowly! Such a silly down-right moronic stereotyping of the entire race of people! Unbelievable! Amazing!
To make it worst, he slipped to say that they were worst than my kind (I am Malay). I was stumped! What did we Malays ever do to you?
I wanted out of his Ku Klux Cab, prompto! I got ready with the cash (in case he accused me of taking out my money slowly...) and paid him as soon as my taxi came to a halt.
The taxi fare shocked me. I guessed he must have taken a much much longer route than necessary. I couldn't help but think, cheating Chinaman...
Racist remark I know but he is just one of the true representative of that stereotype. An eye for an eye. "But Shazi," you would say,"two wrongs do not make a right." I didn't care at that time.
Screw you, for being a racist.
And hopefully this will be my last encounter with an arse like him.
Labels: race, Singapore stories, ugly Singaporean
0 comments
Me in South Park?
Bitched on: Monday, March 27, 2006
Time: 3/27/2006 02:45:00 PM
Time: 3/27/2006 02:45:00 PM
Yes, it is true. I guest-starred in South Park for an episode. The latest episode, Episode 1010, "The boys meet He-Bitch".
Kinda kewl doin' the voice-over for a character that bears so much resemblance to me. And the pay was fantastic!
Here's a little snippet of the episode. The boys welcome a foreign exchange student from Singapore, who instantly begins to irritate all of the boys. He also manages to turn the four bosom buddies against each other by talking bad about them and spreading rumours.
To cut the story short, Cartman kills Kenny and its up to Chef once again to put an end to their bickering. Oh, and my character dies when Timmy and his wheelchair tumble down the stairs onto me.
Ya right... Haha.
That's a whole load of bull.
I created 'my character' in this website. Go create your own character and have fun.
Suckers!!!
Labels: rubbish
0 comments
A House to represent me...
Bitched on: Saturday, March 25, 2006
Time: 3/25/2006 09:27:00 PM
So I did a drawing of a house on this website and it says that from your drawing, the site can describe your personality. How cool was that? So here are my results.Time: 3/25/2006 09:27:00 PM
Based on your drawing and the 10 answers you gave this is a summary of your personality:
Your house tells the world that you ought to be a leader. You are a freedom lover and a strong person. You will avoid being alone and seek the company of others whenever possible. You love excitement and create it wherever you go. Once you have a problem, you need a friend with you. Your life is always full of changes.
You will avoid being alone and seek the company of others whenever possible. You love excitement and create it wherever you go. You have a strong personality and you like to command, influence and control people.
You added a flower into your drawing. The flower signifies that you long for love. We also see that you are sensuous, sexual, and privately passionate. You don't think much about yourself.
Click here to see my house...
sHa-Z says:
Gee... I am flattered. I ought to be a leader, ay?
So world listen up to the leader... ME.
Bow down to me now...
Create a huge statue of me and worship me...
Wow! I would be 'great' leader. Haha...
This thing is so accurate. I am a people-person.
I need friends and family. I keep them close to me all the time.
I am hardly alone. I'll just go insane if I was.
And I do love my freedom. Who doesn't? Especially since I have now ORDed (released from the Army), its party time!!!
And yes I love to have fun. Who doesn't?
I love theme parks. I love taking silly pictures. I love laughing with my buds. I love hanging out late with my friends. I love dancing and acting silly at parties or clubs.
I love parties. I love jokes. I love fun.
Then there's the part about me liking command, influence and control on people. Wow! A bit too harsh ain' it?
So world... Bow down to me now...
And ditto about the flower and love...
Haha... I am desperate for love...
I think I have all this love pent up in me all this years (yes, years...) that when I find Miss Right, she will be so overwhelmed with passion and romance...
*day-dreaming longingly....*
......
Argh... Of course this thing can also descride 90% of the world...
But try it yourself.
Click here to try the test.
Labels: rubbish
0 comments
Sex in the City Part 3, Sarong Party Girls
Bitched on: Sunday, March 19, 2006
Time: 3/19/2006 04:10:00 PM
Also check this video out on why Asian guys can't get white girls.Time: 3/19/2006 04:10:00 PM
Highly recommended. Totally hilarious!!
But it will take a while to download. So I suggest you pause it while it's downloading in another window and you read my blog. Haha...
Sarong Party Girls...
SPGs...
How they disgust me.
How do I define SPGs?
No, I don't label Asian ladies with caucasian boyfriends or husbands as SPGs.
That would be like insulting the foremothers of the Eurasian community. And I would also be insulting a lot of my cousins and friends who married caucasian men (though I have a feeling one or two of these cousins of mine are SPGs, those gold-diggers)...
Instead, I define SPGs as Asian women (be it Chinese, Indian, Malay, Jap etc)who only look at caucasian men and totally disregard their asian male counterparts. Cliche as this sounds, they are bananas, yellow on the outside but white (trying to be) in the inside. A banana that hangs out in bunches in bars and pubs like CHIJMES, China Jump, Insomnia, whole stretch of Boat Quay and other watering holes for ang mors (caucasian in Hokkien).
They throw themselves at anything white with a dick.
Their idea of Mr Right is only Mr White.
Here are some reasons as to why 'going west' sounds more appealing.
Some (notice I use 'some') see caucasian men as a ticket out of this country.
Some even see western surnames as something more prestigious than asian surnames, kinda like a title (Duchess, Datin... you get the picture) for those 'atas' (higher class in Malay) female yuppies...
Then there are some who find the occidental looks more appealing. Or they dig the western cultures (which they find superior to eastern cultures)... and they see that sleeping around is so liberal and Westernised (all thanks to Carrie Bradshaw and her friends...).
Here's a more tongue-in-cheek definition.
I stumbled across a blog written by the SPG. Yes, Miss Izzy herself. If that name sounds familiar, here's something to refresh your memory. The despo (i.e. desperate) who posted nude pictures of herself on her blog.
Read more about it it in Kennysia.com (reader's discretion is advised, contains some nudity, though unflattering the pictures are...).
You can also find her giving sex advice on Singapore's FHM (For Him Magazine). Does it ring a bell now?
Yes, the SPG with the pre-pubescent face (...and chest might I add). She reminds me of Christina Aguilera in the Lady Marmalade music video. Like a little flat-chested tramp in lingerie.
Recently, I saw her on TV in Get Rea! (a Channel Newsasia programme) about teenage pre-marital sex and stuff (post-Tammy NYP videos). Her faux British accent often slipping into obviously her local accent. (What? She talks this way?) Despite her own advice in her blog entry (on How to be a Super SPG... Read: a Super Whore)
"4) Don't talk in a fake accent. If you have a tendency to lapse into it, not because you think it makes you sound oh so sophisticated (when in reality you sound like a crazy windbag) ...."Babe, you should listen to your own advice. You sound like one...
Another familiar trait of a typical SPG. Fake accents. Either British or American, these accents are a necessity to an SPG (like packs of condoms). God knows where they get it from. Television, peers or their one-night stands... These accents irritate me.
A good teacher and mentor of mine (who is coincidentally married to a well-known ang mor DJ) coined this term for them, the Cold Storage accents. Why? Well, the coldest climate these SPGs have ever experienced was when they went to Cold Storage... Go figure.
Unless you were born in the UK, with British parents, schooled with British peers or taught by British teachers all your life, I don't see any reason as to why you have to speak that way if you are a true-born-and-bred-in-Singapore-Singaporean. Its so irritating!!!
Enough about accents. Let's touch on more about Miss Izzy herself (I'm sure we won't be the first and the last ones).
Her ranting and raving about why white is best can make the blood of any Singaporean male boil.
She gave three reasons as to why this is so.
Again this is untrue. While most expats do come here with wallets fat with cash, let's not forget, they did in fact come here for jobs. Says a lot about their career prospects in their native country, ay?"Reason one, they're loaded. It's not that I'd want them because they're a walking credit card, but having a huge disposable income means excessive dates, extravagant holidays and kinky underwear."
I am not a xenophobic, in fact I welcome foreigners to my country, be it American capitalists or Chinese study mamas or Bangladeshi odd job labourers. I mean if they come here to help build my country up, why not?
But I do stop short of supporting foreign-born representatives in the Olympics Games or other areas of achievement (like scaling the Mount Everest for example)... Some might argue that Singapore is a country built up by our forefathers who were immigrants too. However, in today's context, I see Ronald Susilo and Li Jiawei as borrowed talent (I'm sorry but I do). No matter how much pride they bring to our country, its just not the same...
Ok, Ok, enough digression. Let's continue with reason number two given by Miss Izzy.
"Caucasians are better then local men in bed. But let's just not go into the tasteless details. Just leave it at the fact that Asians suck. The Chinese have small penises and the Indians are the most prone to ED -that's erectile dysfunction for the uninitiated."
Who believes that she slept with the entire population of men in the world to make the statement above, raise your hand.
I mean not only is she is insulting the locals, she has also collectively insulted Asians worldwide!
And finally reason number three.
"Finally, local boys live with their parents... Either you have to sneak into their bedrooms, still littered with broken He-Man toys from 2 decades back well past midnight, or book into a hotel room- remember how broke they are?..."
Well, I am sorry, but that, my friend, is called filial piety. And again, did she sleep with the whole of Singapore for her to say this bull?
She has other reasons (in a different entry... but I won't go too much into detail ...cough bullshit ehem..) as to why white is better.
Here's a classic reason.
"Finally, point number three. Dick size. As I have previously mentioned, greater reward in sexual satisfaction contribute to the reason why I find white guys attractive."Hmmm... Not only has she bed all the men in the world, she does it with a measuring tape. Kinky...
Hear this out... Doesn't this seemingly unnoticeable statement sound insulting?
"And I know local guys like those retarded messages with teddies made out of semi-colons and dashes and whatever else."Wow! Now we like retarded things huh? Again, say it with me people, all together now, "Since when did she date the whole of Singapore's male population to make statement like that?"
Sure you might argue that not all SPGs are like this (in her own words self-absorbed, egotistical little bitch. Can I please add; slutty, narcissistic whore?).
And I agree. Its just a few rotten bananas that give the bunch a bad name. I'm not saying its wrong to date (or bed) Caucasian men... but to denounce and define the Asian men as pathethic cheap mummy's boy with the sex life of a monk and a dick the size of a cocktail sausage. That's too much! And that's precisely what she did.
Here's another 'argument' by a more bimbotic airhead SPG complete with Singlish lahs and lohs. This is a must-read!!!
Here's a preview;
"I also think it's very unfair to call Asian women who prefer ang mor men 'sarong party girls'. I mean, we rarely wear sarongs. It covers up too much."
Ditto. Do read it.
Before I sign off, here's a quote from one of Miss Izzy's entry;
"I just don't get turned on by Asian men. Whether or not the lights are dimmed."Well, honey, the feelings are mutual...
5 comments
O.R.D-Day, 150306... Finally.
Bitched on: Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Time: 3/15/2006 07:53:00 PM
Latest Update:Time: 3/15/2006 07:53:00 PM
Finally, the day has come. 15th March 2006.
My sis told me, "What's the big deal? Pink IC only what." A female friend asked me, "What's ORD?"
Well, girls will never understand. True, huh guys?
My pink IC was forcefully taken away 2 years and 2 months ago.
Now, we are finally re-united!
Amin to that!
I miss you old buddy. You have a new home. My wallet. No more cupboard for you, bud.
You will always be close to me. Well, at my butt... but close to me nonetheless.
I was so estatic from the moment I stepped onto the island just now. My two buddies who were also going to ORD with me, Haikal and Irfaan, must have really felt like giving me the sock the whole day. Haha...
I was nervous when I got back my IC. In fact, I didn't realise that I had gotten my pink IC until I saw Irfaan's expression when he saw my IC. I couldn't stop smiling since then. It has returned to me, baby!
Haikal was wearing the same shirt he wore when he enlisted 26 months ago! How symbolic was that! (he never failed to remind us again and again, 5 times actually) And since he doesn't have a blog, allow me to help him share this piece of trivia with the world!
And I managed to take pictures with all the big shots in my school (unit)! See them here. I took pictures with my RSM (Regimental Sergeant Major), my CO (Commanding Officer), my School 1 2IC (2nd in Command), my very own companies OC (Officer-in-Command) and CSM (Company Sergeant Major)...
Sigh... I miss Tekong island already.
I'm never getting onto another fastcraft (ferry) ever.
Come to think of it, I am never stepping onto the island again!
Before I go, here is an excerpt from my journal which I wrote on my first day of my enlistment.
"Fear, anxiety, lethargy, excitement,
How should I feel?
I did not have time.
It was rush rush.
Replace IC with army card.
Oath taking.
Dinner with family.
Family gone.
Meet new platoon and section.
Company ~ Scorpion.
Get new stuff. Army stuff.
Shave head.
Close. (mummy, good night)" - 16th January 2004, Friday.
That was 26 months ago. Today wasn't rush rush. It was the opposite. It was slow and easy. I was finally free.
ORD LOH!!!
0 comments
O.R.D-Day, 150306
Bitched on: Sunday, March 12, 2006
Time: 3/12/2006 05:30:00 PM
If life was like the Grammys or Oscars, I will have these few (some made-up) catergories to award the SAF (Singapore Armed Forces), for the past 2 years and 2 months.Time: 3/12/2006 05:30:00 PM
The Most Adrenaline Rush Award (aka Action-Packed Movie):
When I rappeled down the helicopter. Boy, was that fun. I still remember looking at the underside of the helicopter after I jumped out of it...
It was months of practice jumps at the Guards Tower for that 2 minutes of pure excitement. My heart was palpitating, my throat parched and my mind was a complete mess. I can proudly boast and retell the stories to my not-as-fortunate Infantry comrades.
*clap clap* 2 minutes *clap clap* skid *clap clap* rope *clap clap* L-shape *clap clap* GO!
The Most Oh-my-God-I-am-going-to-die Award:
No, its not related to the above experience but instead it was quite... ermmm... embarassing. I was...
...chased by a pack of 7 to 10 wild dogs when I was on my way to my bunk via a shortcut (last time I took that shortcut). I swear the dogs were huge and menacing and there were so many. I could have easily clock 9 seconds flat for that 100m. And boy did I shout (manly, not shrilly surprisingly).
The Most Sleaze-all-in-One-Night (aka Most real-life Porn I'll ever get) Award:
I was roped in by my ex-platoon sergeant and ex-company 2IC from 3Guards to pay a visit to Orchard Towers and Geylang after a night in Cheeky Monkeys (my first clubbing experience)! That was the first time I got to experience 2 of Singapore's red light districts first hand. And like any red-blooded male I was excited at the thought but when I finally dwelled into the sleaze, I wanted out, prompto. Normally, rows and rows of girls in bras standing by the roadside parading themselves for you to pick might sound like every guys' dreams but I was ermm.... embarrassed to be there, and I felt sorry and pity for the ladies. They were treated like objects, like meat!
I came out of the experience with 2 mental notes, guys are pigs and I will never succumb to paying for sex, ever.
The Most Tear Jerking Performance (aka Most I-miss-my-Mommy Award)
This happened in Taiwan, during one of the outfield exercises. It was constantly pouring (Taiwan was so similiar to Singapore; hot, wet and very Chinese). I remember particularly it was our first day outfield and it was raining heavily for a very long time.
My two buddies and I had built a makeshift shelter with our groundsheet over an overhanging branch of a nearby tree. Our shelter was powerless against the heavy rain and it wasn't long before our only protection agaist the rain brokedown. So what did my buddies and I do? Well, we took turns to stand and bend over in the centre of the 'shelter' to replace the branch. The other two will then pull the four corners down so that rainwater wouldn't accumulate anywhere.
Drenched from head to toe (argh!!! I got my foot rot since then), we complained, bitched and cried our misery out for the whole day! Looking back, I find it really hilarious how 3 grown guys were actually lamenting about missing home... and the sun.
The Best Movie Award
(aka Should-be-made-into-a-movie-with-many-many-sequels Award)
Drumrolls please... Hmmm... we have a tie! And they are both comedies!!!
Well, both 'comedies' occured during my roving stint in a unit (which has a special place in my heart always), Singapore 3rd Battalion Guards. And both occurred days apart when I was leading my section in one of our many navigational exercises in the jungles of Lim Chu Kang.
On the first day of the exercise while we were walking up a really steep slope to find our next checkpoint, I suddenly and painfully had cramps in my both my legs (like in my thighs and calves!!!) I was obviously immobilised and screaming in pain..
Haha... My section (group of men) was obviously horrified (initially) and they were scrambling for help. But where were they to find help in the middle of the jungle? So we were desperately signalling for help using the one and only signal set.
But alas help never arrived (they were busy tending to a 'real' casualty) and so instead I, with the help of my men, made our way back to our HQ (headquarters).
That story became the joke of the century! Everyone began immitating my 'shouts of pain'... Arhhh... arhhh... arhh...
So funny, guys... Not.
The next day,we moved on to the next navigational exercise (with me still embarrassed from the previous days' spectacle).
This time, my section 2 IC, Reyhan (now Corporal Reyhan, so proud of you bro), was instructed to lead the way while I was the observer. He lead us well from checkpoint to checkpoint. Occasionally, the whole section would simply bash into the forest directly to find the next checkpoint.
On of those occasions, we came across a small stream. It appeared shallow enough to just walk (not even wade) across and narrow enough to jump over (if need be). It seemed harmless like many of the other streams we came across, or so we thought.
Poor Faizhul was the first victim of the evil stream...
The poor boy fell into the mercilessly stream the moment he stood on the banks (only rivers have that ey?). Well, he 'sank' all the way to close his chest level! It was that deep. His huge and heavy field pack might have helped the stream to suck him further down. He cried out for me, shouting, 'Sergeant, help, quicksand!!'
I was from the back, rushed to the front to see Al-Bokiah, laughing at his buddy who was now trying to struggle to get to the other side. When he eventually got to the other side, he swore at his buddies who instead of helping him were laughing at him.
Next to try was Bokiah. He tested the banks first. But even before he could leap off, the part of the bank he stood on collapsed, taking him down with it. But he managed to pull Reyhan (who was behind him) down with him and a small shrub completely with the huge tuber (we were guessing sweet potato) of the soil. So the two fell into the stream with a splash. By now, the stream was becoming wider and deeper and muddier... And we had food, Bo's sweet potato. haha...
So we devised a plan to use our parang (a machete) to cut down a small tree which was thick and sturdy enough for us to use as a small makeshift bridge. We tried making a human chain as we crossed the bridge and that was fine until Reyhan, who had gotten onto the other side, playfully released Sulaiman's hand. Sulaiman who was in the middle of the 'bridge' lost his balance and fell straight into the stream! That was hilarious!
The whole situation was hilarious!! It was like we took turns solo to cross but each one of us fell. At the end of it, none of us were spared from brown (instead of our original green camo) muddy clothes. The drama was really incredibly unforgetable. It was a small stream but it 'defeated' all of us! More importantly, we bonded as a section, something we swore we would never forget. It was one of those things that when you were shagged and you get dirty, you will just laugh it off. We had fun. And we immediately found our checkpoint after that, behind a tree. Haha...
The Best Actor
It goes to.... Me! Haha. I remember when I was still a trainee in SISPEC during one of our navigation exercises, I lost a magazine (gasp!! Not FHM or Maxim hor...). A magazine is the part of the rifle that you use to load the rounds and you 'attach' this magazine to the weapon to fire. Mind you it was loaded with rounds (blanks only). And after hours of searching for that damn magazine, I... (due to sheer 'shagness'...) feigne...d... I mean.. I fainted! Haha! It wasn't really hard to put up that performance when you were really dead tired, the weather was really hot and that you knew that you will be so screwed losing that thing. Haha... I was really hoping that my superiors would take pity on me and maybe the punishment for the loss (we found the magazine the next morning) would be lessened but boy was I wrong... The punishment? Try three weekend confinements...Ouch.
The Best Supporting Actor
The award has to go to the medic from the above's 'drama' who was tending to me despite knowing that I was faking it! Haha... I think he knew after he checked my temperature (which wasn't really high for heat exhaustion). Haha... That medic even suggested I be put on a drip! Well, luckily they couldn't find a drip in the middle of the jungle. So he did the next best thing, he iced me to death! Like really, I could have gotten frostbites on my fingers... and nipples!
Other awards given out include;
Best Break-out Performance
Me again. For my occasional break-out of zits.
Best Song
That song that accompanies the lowering or raising of the National, SAF and Army flags and everyone has to freeze whenever the song is played (God knows what's the title of that song...).
Best Newcomer
All those who have just enlisted into the Army. Suckers!!! Hahaha!! Chao recruits!!!
And If I were to have an Acceptance Speech, it will go something like this;
Thank you SAF, for the most enriching and eye-opening time of my life.
I truly had a wonderful 2 years and 2 months.
I have become a man. Not a lil boy anymore but an independant grown-up.
Though I did bitch about National Service (NS) initially (I'm sure you guys serving it right now must be doing that right now), but boy am I thankful (and also thankful that it is over too)...
No, it wasn't a waste of my time instead I had the time of my life then.
But it was a waste of my brain cells, cause man, have I become dumber... So thanks.
It was like camping, working and schooling all rolled into one. I learnt more in the Army than all the years of schooling in my life put together. Loads more responsibilties and stuff. It was my first working experience ever (bumming around at home isn't exactly work, I wasn't paid). Thanks for paying me to bumm around.
It was a completely different lifestyle in Tekong. I felt like we were overseas (Tekong island is still overseas...) and we were staying in hostels. So thanks for the free food and accommodation.
Getting out to the civillian world (aka mainland) was always something to look forward to, something to cherish. Thank you for limiting that.
But now like a prisoner given a second chance at freedom, I feel like I am no longer chained to a steel ball...
I will not take it for granted now that I can freely go down to Orchard Road or anywhere for that matter. I am free, no more heavy heart that I feel whenever I need to book in.
No more (ridiculously) early reveille. I am free to wake up late, in my own bed, in my own room.
Thank you for making me realise that my freedom is precious. And thank you for taking it away, limiting it and now returning it to me.
I am free. I am free. Amin to that.
I am free. You will be too, just hang on.
"All good things come to those who wait."
ORD LOH!!!
Another related entry, SAF- Serve And F... Off?
0 comments
Euthanasia...
Bitched on: Thursday, March 09, 2006
Time: 3/09/2006 12:05:00 PM
Just kill me now someone! Please gimme a shotgun! Lemme just shoot myself!Time: 3/09/2006 12:05:00 PM
I wanna die! I am in pain! I look like crap! I feel like crap!
I'm bed-ridden! I have no appetite! Just let me die!
I feel miserable (like duh..).
Why? I have chicken pox. Before you slap my face and tell me to stop whining (you big bratt!), hear me out.
Chicken pox in adults (yes, I am a big boy now) is pretty serious. The blisters are bigger and more widespread. Just look at my horribly disfigured face. I shudder to think of the post-chicken pox scars...And I even have the blisters on my scalp down to the soles of my feet and in my ear and even on my ehem...
And my fever. Yesterday was the all time highest. One minute I'm shivering, the next, I'm sweating profusely.
Silly as this sounds, when I was shivering under my blankie, with every toss and turn excruciatingly painful, with my throat parched dry and breath smelling worst than a corpse's, I couldn't help but think of jumping out of my window beside my bed. Silly but I did think of it. Suicide? Selfish and irresponsible.
I look at my parents, my mum buying me all the things to make my throat better (tau hway, soya bean milk, bird's nest drinks) and my dad applying the calamine on my back.... I love them so much.
But here's a thought, what if your loved one is gravely ill? However, it isn't his or her time to go yet. And between now and then, he or she is in tremendous amount of pain. And your loved one wants to let go. Will you let go? More importantly, will you assist? Mercy killing. Euthanasia. Will you do it? Like what happened to Terri Schiavo.
I will just leave you with a website to learn more about euthanasia. And do read the People Articles, some really tug at your heart-strings.
I'm sorry I need to go off now. I feel awful. I need to go hibernate now.
Labels: personal
0 comments
My Boring Holiday
Bitched on: Saturday, March 04, 2006
Time: 3/04/2006 02:09:00 PM
Time: 3/04/2006 02:09:00 PM
I am writing this entry in a Internet cafe in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, on the last day of the trip with the background blaring with gaming noise and the racket from the gamers themselves (so much for booking the 'quiet' room).
This is the second time in 4 months since I have been here. And while the previous holiday was simply put, a Horrible Holiday, this one was surprisingly boring. This time, I went with my Army friends instead of the family (thank God).
There were 4 of us; (from left) Hafizan, Weiyong (both ex-platoon mates from BMTC), Weiqiang (Weiyong's good friend since secondary school, and he is also a fellow BMTC colleague, though I have never seen him before) and I.And we are here for four days and three nights. .
We went up to Genting Highlands on the first day and stayed a night there in this very small and pathethic excuse for a 'hotel room' that has an 'amazing' view, of other hotel rooms just barely three metres away from our huge glass window. You heard me right, we could openly look into at least 10 other hotel rooms just metres away from our window! Fortunately or unfortunately (depends on how you look at it), all the rooms were vacant (so unfortunately, for Weiyong, there were no sex parties in the adjacent rooms where he can climb into and join...his exact words.).
Well, the rides were the same. But gone were the queues for the rides (due to the fact that we there on a Tuesday and it wasn't a public holiday in Malaysia, unlike during the Christmas holidays when I went the previous time). And to a certain extent, we need queues in the world. Why?
Well, within 2 hours, we were done with all the rides in the outdoor theme park (seriously all the rides). We were also able to ride some of the rides twice or thrice. I was the most daring amongst the four (surprisingly...) so I had to coax and force the rest to take the huge roller coaster and the space shot with me (though in the end, some, I will not mention names, chickened out). Well, I was game for everything, even to the extent of going on the rides alone even. Somehow, I miss (I'm sorry, I have to stop typing and using this computer... a really foul-smelling dude just came in to use the computer in front of me!!! Oh my God, doesn't he shower?!! And the room is air-conditioned too.. I'll continue finishing this entry when I come back to Singapore. Euuwww...)
Ok, where was I? Ah yes... Somehow, I miss both my sisters who are just (if not more) daring as me to play all the rides.
The guys and I tried all the rides, no matter how lame they were. The 'haunted' pirate ride wasn't even haunted with a single soul lah... We even tried the 'Tea Cup' ride, which turned out to be the worst and dizzying ride of all!! Haha, that was a lot of fun. And the T-Rex on the Dinosaurland ride was like... dying... LOL. I was just trying to squeeze every single cent worth of the RM42 entry fee...All was not lost when I tried the Sky Diving Stimulator in the Indoor Theme Park for an additional RM38. Initially we thought the price was steep but then the ride was really cool!!! We were like, flying!! Highly recommended and its definitely something I look forward to trying again! ( I know my Commando friends would be- What? Been there, done that! We did the real thing!) sheesh...
Somehow, up there in Genting, I was constantly hungry, buying snacks at every shop I see. I dunno why, probably because of the higher metabolic rate or wadever in the colder atmosphere up there. I was a pig, an annoying one at that, I will repeat the same thing, "I'm hungry, can we grab a bite?" Well, I promised myself that I was gonna hit the weights in gym, straight away after coming back to Singapore.Well, we spent the rest of the day sleeping up in our 'cells'. We were really dead tired.
Then we thought of catching a movie but really, why go all the way to Genting to watch a movie? So that idea was scrapped. Instead, we slept again. Eager to go down to KL the next afternoon.
The next day arrived, we took a cable car down to the station at the foot of the hill (now that was scary as hell!) We had to trust our lives on a thin wire connected to our gondola by a thin hook-like thingy. But the view was breath-taking.From there we took a minivan to our hotel in KL. I initially worried that it would be worse than our hotel in Genting but it was really splendid. Blew my expectations away. It was small, but they had cable, a mini fridge and most importantly (for me and Weiqiang), they had a bathtub (at least only my room had a bathtub but not Weiyong's and Weiqiang's room. So, Weiqiang borrowed the bathtub on the 2nd night for a... shower?!). And the view of the city skyline was teriffic (my room was at the twelth storey).
So anyway, the first day was spent, what else? Napping.
But we did visit the Petronas Twin Towers and attempted to shop there. The prices were equivalent if not more expensive than in Singapore. The other guys bought jeans and stuff at a discount but the clothes which we on sale were not really much to my liking. We took a lot of pix at the park-cum-water fountain in front of the two towers. I even humiliated myself by asking (in really 'broken' Malay) a Malaysian dude to help us to take a group shoot but ended up being teased for my limited vocab (hardly the proudest moment in my life, I am such a stupid kentang!).
Then we spent the rest of the day shopping at KL's Chinatown, Petaling Street (which was a stone's throw from our hotel, the Ancasa Hotel). It was really crowded with locals and 'ang moh' (Western) tourists alike. All was fine until I almost came to blows with a shopkeeper (a stupid misunderstanding which ended up with him grabbing me by the arm, and swearing). The cheek of that asshole, his filthy hand on my arm. How can you force someone to buy something if you are no longer interested? So much for 'the customers are always right'. That shook me up a little bit and it totally spoilt my mood to shop. Empty handed (except for Weiyong who bought shoes), we went up to our rooms to retire for the night.
The next morning started promising with a great (free) breakfast and then a taxi ride to Bukit Bintang (the city's shopping district, the Orchard Road or the Rodeo Drive of Kuala Lumpur) which was nice cept for the price again. Then we went to Times Square, a really huge hotel and shopping centre with a cool indoor theme park. I didn't get to try the rides in the theme park cause the others were not interested (I miss my sisters...). So we 'rotted' at Macs, taking turns to go to the toilet...So we went back to our hotel room,and you guessed it, napped the rest of the day away. Hafizan had to go back early so he took a bus back to Singapore that evening, leaving me alone to sleep in my room that night.
Before you are gonna think that we slept all the way to the next morning, you are wrong. We were just saving up on our sleep for that night. We went to Zouk KL!!! Something I was really forward to in the entire trip. For future references, the club is opposite a Maia Hotel, a primary school and (get this) a Muslim cementary! Its at Jalan Ampas. And just mention the neighbouring Saloma Bistro and the taxi driver can take you there. Its also walking distance from the Petronas Twin Towers. So from the carpark of Zouk, you can see the impressive backdrop of the two buildings, tall and illuminated like two curvy keris (Malay daggers). It opens only after 10pm (what the hell?!). Thursdays are ladies' night (that's all I know and care). And the entry fee is just RM28!!! That's like half of Singapore's entry fees!!
We went on Friday for your info. And initially we joked that it was gays' night (of course it wasn't) but when we entered and the ratio of guys to girls were like 4 is to 1, we were scared... haha... But it was really just a normal night. We were disappointed that guys actually outnumbered the girls. 11pm and the crowd was pathetic, us 3 played awfully childish and loud 'drinking' games to pass the time. The staff there even outnumbered the clubbers. They were going around taking our orders! We didn't even have to leave our seats to go to the bar. How convenient but sad was that?
The dance floor was empty except for a bunch of losers dancing solo (more like dancing interpretive dance). It remained empty until 12 plus! Only then a few more losers started dancing. Then things only heated up when 4 young ang moh (Caucasian) ladies started dirty dancing (together, for fun) at the top of the central 'stage'. Every guy in the room started wolf-whistling and cheering on. And boy were they hot.
That was when the party started picking up. Really slowly....
Really really slowly...
Really really really slowly...
That was when (fed-up) Weiyong pulled me up to the 'stage' to shake our bon-bons.
After 'wriggling' on the the stage for a few minutes, I saw from the corner of my eye two gals dancing beside us on the the dancefloor. I couldn't tell whether they were white, hispanic or middle eastern but one of them was really cute (short curly hair, large eyes and really curvy body). The other gal was probably triple my size (if you know what I mean) but pretty nonetheless (with longer hair and a beautiful face). I was eyeing the smaller girl and initially she made shy attempts to look back. She even tried dancing behind the larger frame of her dance partner to steal glances up. Then she became bolder and the pair came closer to our 'stage'. Our eyes just stayed glued to each other while dancing with our own partners. I mouthed to Weiyong that I was getting off the stage. But to my horror when I looked down, her friend was pulling her away up to the VIP corner. She was reluctant but I guess they were probably having a party up there cause I saw a few more of their friends beckoning the pair to join them. That was the last time I saw her.
We went out after that and went in again when I told the guys about the girl. We couldn't find her, sadly. And to think, things would have gone well that night (I was sleeping alone in my hotel room, need I say more?)
Totally disappointed with the lack of excitement and girls in the club, we left at 1 am (as promised, we gave it an hour between 12 to 1 to see if the party will pick up, which didn't). That was the first time in my life leaving a club that early! Weiyong's picture really sums up our Zouk KL experience. LOL...We had a late supper and retire back to our hotel. And we met up with a very strange group at the lobby, two German guys and a local Chinese guy. How do I see the connection? What do you think? Everything would have seemed fine had it not for the older German gentleman giving the us the eye.
The next day was uneventful, woke up late for breakfast, and then slept again.
Checked out at 12pm. I checked out later cause I lost one of my two room key cards! I lost it when I was checking the room for anything I might have left behind. How ironic was that?
We thought of going down to Petaling again for Weiqiang to finally get his denim berms. But then we strayed into the internat cafe (see top) and played 3 hours of our life away. Went back to Petaling, I think I have a phobia of the place. Ironically, Weiqiang bought the berms from the rude shopkeeper's shop (that son-of-a-bitch who grabbed my arm). We didn't know initially cause the shopkeeper that time was a different dude until that ass came in just as Weiqiang was about to pay for the berms. I bolted out of the shop immediately of course. That S.O.B.
We then took our coach back to Singapore. And we had the whole bus to ourselves. Haha, we felt like VIPs. There were 2 drivers and 3 of us, plus another two unidentified passengers (I'm guessing local travellers who paid extra, illegally of course). It was the only sense of luxury I felt in the entire trip. Sad but true... So it was just us three by the time we reached Singapore at 11pm. Tired, feverish, I went back taking my daddy's car. He asked me, "So you enjoyed it?"
What did I say? What could I say? I said, "Another time I'll tell you, Daddy, I'm super shagged..."
See all of the pictures here.
No more KL (no offense, KLiens). Next trip, Phuket, Thailand. Any takers?
So boring... Yawn...
Latest Update: A sourvenir from KL, chicken pox. That's why this entry took 5 excruciatingly long days to be completed then published.
Labels: holidays
0 comments
